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Contributed by TheSpiritx
on Saturday, 2nd October 2004 @ 01:43:47 AM AEST
Topic:
short
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Standing alone in her room, Sarah Miller examined herself in the mirror. She had always thought of herself, mentally and physically, as less than average, weighing her gifts against society’s standards. Her classmates tended to disagree, but her opinion was unalterable, it seemed. Wiping away a tear, Sarah turned and looked around her room. As her eyes slowly drifted across her belongings, her life, she remembered. She let her mind wander, thinking back to when she was younger. She remembered many happy events… the day her parents brought home a puppy… that cold, snowy Christmas morning when she was given the dollhouse she had wanted since she was 7. She recalled her first slumber party when she was 9. She smiled in light of these fond recollections, but her beautiful smile was cut short by a flittering thought: "Life seems to go so fast and for what? We grow and die. What is the purpose of all of this?" Her meandering mind was harshly yanked back into reality by this revelation. Sighing, Sarah turned back towards the mirror. She briefly thought how apparent it would be to anyone that she was crying. "Not that it matters," she pondered, "nobody would care anyway."
That was the story of Sarah’s life. Since her childhood, she’d always felt alone. At her birthday parties, she was always standing apart from the others, feeling awkward both about not fitting in and not particularly wanting to. While the other children played and had fun, she’d sit and watch. As time progressed, her peers in school all began to consider her too abnormal to include her in anything they did, which was fine with her, as she took no interest. During middle school, Sarah was assured of her purpose in life. She wrote in her diary, I know. There's no meaning to life… no sense behind it. I am useless. I'm just a waste of space on this planet. In all reality, I guess we all are, but there's no purpose for me anymore. Years of planning and plotting out her course in life were all in vain, as she had decided now that it was her time to go.
Sarah thought back to her high school boyfriend, Chad. He loved her and she tried so hard to love him back. She felt that he was her only anchor to life; that he was all she had, but she just couldn’t feel the love she desired so much to express. She had always had trouble expressing herself – even to her mother. The words "I love you" were merely an empty shell, adequate to convey the emotion, though they actually carried nothing. The years with Chad went by, but Sarah knew in her heart that he couldn’t maintain what she felt was a one-sided relationship. She believed that saw it in his eyes and, even more so, felt it in his kisses. The evening came when, at dinner, Chad explained that he had to go. She didn’t listen. She knew what he was saying: that it was time for him to move on – that she no longer was satisfying his need for a relationship. She vaguely remembered hearing him apologize before she ran out of the restaurant. It was for the better, however. It was time he found someone better… someone who could love him back.
After Chad left, Sarah’s personal appearance, her activities… her very life collapse and meshed together. She began to understand just how insignificant she was and no longer took care of herself, choosing not to eat for days on end. Signs of her depression were apparent, but it was only then when her friends and co-workers asked questions. They knew nothing about her. Perhaps because she never told them anything, but she knew her life was unimportant and they didn’t care about her at all. She didn’t tell them, even after being asked, what was wrong. She didn’t tell them that she wanted to die.
Back in Sarah’s room, she sat at the foot of her bed, toying with a small vial. A wave of sorrow washed over her as she thought once more about Chad. She wished he were there to support her, even if she couldn’t express her love for him. She needed him, but was glad, in an ironic way, that he was able to move beyond her. Now, however, it was her goal to get out of everyone’s lives – to help them move on, as well. Holding the vial up, she looked through the amber glass. She thought, "Whatever happens, it’s for the best. I hate it all. I hate life... and I hate myself."
Sarah pulled the small stopper out of the vial and held it up once again, examining it. "This… this is my happiness. This is my purpose," she mused. She lifted the vial to her lips and tilted her head back, consuming the poison inside. She let the bottle fall to the floor, watching it shatter into pieces. She sat, staring at it for a moment, reflecting on her life once more. Her mind drifted a few weeks back to the man she purchased the poison from. "Does it hurt?" she asked. "No, it’s quick," responded the dealer.
She opened her eyes. A black circle clouded her vision. Through the haze that was developing in her mind, she related the circle she saw to the blackness that was penetrating her mind, making it more and more difficult to think. A ringing sound invaded her slipping senses. She marveled at the sound and its volume. In a tiny part of her mind, she knew this was a familiar sound. She struggled to place it. Through the fog of the poison shot one last thought: the doorbell. She drifted off into a light sleep, the image and sound of a doorbell playing on the void of unconsciousness. Before the cold swept over her, another sound echoed slightly in her ears, though it was never quite perceived. It was the sound of someone calling her softly. She stirred in her slumber, laughing slightly; her last movement. She was dead.
Chad looked into the garage and saw her vehicle. "She’s home… what could she be doing?" he wondered. He went to the door and rang the doorbell, as a formality, more than anything. After weeks of being gone, he was glad to finally come home. He made it a point to see Sarah right away. Ever since the evening she had run off crying, he had to talk to her. He knew she was sad, and always had been. He had always tried his best to help her… to make her feel loved, because he did well and truly love her. He tried to remember to phone her every day in order to talk to her, but business kept him from being able to do so, and every time he was actually able to call, there was no answer.
He entered the house, knowing she wouldn’t mind his intrusion after so many years. Calling her name, he walked through the kitchen and living room. He figured she might be in the shower, but the restroom door was open. He proceeded to her room. As he went to open the door, he found that she had locked it. "Sarah?" he said, "Sarah, are you in there?" He knocked lightly, waiting for a response. Upon hearing the sound of glass shattering, he knocked harder. "Sarah? Sarah, open the door. Is everything okay?" he asked. Through the door, he heard a small, childish laugh. He remembered the door key above the frame and grabbed it, pushing the door open as he unlocked it.
Sarah was lying on her bed, her head lolled to one side, her sad, lifeless face exposed. He was too late.
Copyright © TheSpiritx
... [2004-10-0201:43:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by Yousef on Saturday, 2nd October 2004 @ 08:41:04 PM AEST
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This is a very beautiful story, it's name remindes me of Darren Hayes song "Void" and I liked the song very much and I liked the story even more, the story is well written with a unique style that cought my attention, and I'm looking forward to read more of your stories, so Good luck and to all the people out there read this story because it's really worth being read. |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by Sissyme on Monday, 4th October 2004 @ 05:05:20 PM AEST
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Woah!!! This was a awesome story. My name is Sara as well and I always felt like I wasnt worth a crap, then I read this and saw that chad did love her and she wasnt alone. So now I know I have some one there for me, the problem is finding thay person. Thank you!!! |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by brokenbylove130 on Monday, 4th October 2004 @ 06:04:56 PM AEST
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this was a truly great story. sarahs feeling of not belonging, not being wanted, i relaed to it a lot. ive tried suicide only once but my best friend saved me. i loved the way it didnt have the tipical happy ending as well. great write.
~mandi~ |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by a_bear on Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 01:46:53 PM AEST
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It's too sad...but then so is life. I'd like her to know that her reality isn't really reality...it's depressions reality. Give people with depression a reason to fight back and not give up. It's a well written story though..very good. |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by Marcus493 on Sunday, 24th October 2004 @ 01:36:20 PM AEST
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nice! |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by BuTTerFly_LoVe on Tuesday, 2nd November 2004 @ 06:39:57 PM AEST
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Woah~ this storie is Woah haha i don't like to read, but this i don't know why, i was so drawn to it. Keep writing and let this story be read thro out the world because there are a lot of girls and guys like sarah. No matter who you are there is always a person out there to love you. A girl was has her beauty and a man is a man.. SMILE IT'S FREE !!!
BuTtERfLy_LoVe |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by lonithion on Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 04:30:56 AM AEST
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Wow...
that was a magnificant story. What a sad life she thought she lived. When in fact her life was good.
thank you for sharing your gift.
lonithion |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by dalamar on Thursday, 16th December 2004 @ 12:14:58 PM AEST
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I tmade me cry at the end wehn chad came over to her but she was dead. Good write and thank you. |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by CloakedMystery on Saturday, 12th March 2005 @ 01:45:51 AM AEST
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i liked it. these r the type of storys i read and i found it commpelling. good write,i wanna see more of the thngs u write.
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by CloakedMystery on Friday, 18th March 2005 @ 02:27:19 AM AEST
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a few days after i read your story i had a dream about it,and its stuck in my head. not that thats a bad thing. lol |
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Re: The Void
(User Rating: 1)
by Essentially9 on Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 09:53:18 PM AEST
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many of the things in this reminded me of myself, and i have been striving for a long time to become less and and less like this, but i always revert back with one thing crashing down. if only she had thought she had more purpose in the end, then he wouldnt have been late... |
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