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Contributed by Lovingcritters
on Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 06:39:44 PM AEST
Topic:
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I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
To admit that fact still breaks my heart.
And of course being their parent, I' blamed
myself, what could I have done to thwart?
My children were well padded spiritually
as well as physically.
What did I do or not do? What could I have done
more of, or less? I've analyzed 'til I'm nearly crazy!
So, when my dear friend sent me this email about
drugs.....I had to remember and review it again.
Someone at a store in their town read that a
methamphetamine lab had been found,
I must now talk through my precious friend,
My Pen......
They asked a rhetorical question,
"Why didn't he have a drug problem when he was
growing up?"
The reply was simple, "He did have a drug problem
when he was young--constant checkup."
He was drug to church every Sunday mornings.
He was drug to church for activities even weddings.
He was drug to family reunions and community socials
no matter the weather.
He was drug by his ears when he was disrespectful
to adults, with much anger.
He was also drug to the woodshed when he disobeyed.
Likewise when ever he told a lie, brought home
a bad report card, or a friend betrayed.
He was corrected if he spoke ill of a teacher,
He was reprimanded if he spoke badly of a preacher.
and....
He was told it was wrong for him not to put forth
his very best effort.....
No matter how hard, he was expected to do everything
that was asked of him, even if it hurt!
He was drug to the kitchen sink to have his mouth
washed out with Lifebuoy Soap for cussing.
He was drug out to mow the lawn, and pull weeds
in his father's garden, no brooding!
He was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors
Helping out some poor soul who was unable to chop
wood taught to do kind gestures.
If his mother had ever known that he took a single dime
She would have had his father take him to the woodshed
in no time!
He continues to explain, "Those "drugs" are
still in his veins,
They affect his behavior in everything he does,
because discipline reigns......
They are stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin;
and.....
if today's children had this kind of drug problem,
America would be a better place if young when
this was begun.
The author is unknown to this story, I'd love to
be able to talk with them.....
For as I start my story now, I can honestly say,
I did every single one of the things mentioned
consistently everyday.
I padded my children with knowledge galore of
God's Word.
I showed them by example how to use it for
their good with the highest of standard.
Could I use the fact that I was a widow,
without a backup?
No, because I know lots and lots of children
without fathers that weren't mixedup!
Were my children loved? More than you
or anyone, perhaps only God knows.
I worked very hard, sometimes 2 jobs to
continue living a high life style.
We had a loving home, a nice car, nice clothes,
and all things worthwhile.
I saved very carefully for a nice vacation
each year so they could travel.
We visited museums in Chicago, Denver,
even New York City was real.
We went on buses, sometimes on trains,
we flew in big jets too.
I was very careful to make sure their life
experiences were educational with value.
We had pets, lots of pets. birds, dogs, cats,
and gerbils.
The cats had kittens, and that was so fun,
I played many a game with giggles.
I never once left my children. I never dated,
I was too busy being a mother.
When they were ill, I sat by their hospital
bed, for surgery,
I held their hands when to the Dentist they
would go for dentistry.
I attended their school activities, and helped with
their homework,
I was widowed at 33, I gave them my very
best years, my lifework.
I never expected anything back, it was all
done out of love.
Please don't get me wrong, I made numerous mistakes
along the way......
But I was never cruel, I showed my love for
them each and every day.
I taught them they should love good, and hate the bad.
and yet it's to the bad they run, it's so sad!
When my second daughter started her dope, I was
unaware.
I didn't know anything about drugs, perhaps that's it
if I'd have known more, increased the care?
Was it too late when I finally realized she needed
help so badly?
I sent her to the best clinic in the whole state.......she ran
away.......memories make me chilly.
The nights I stayed up all night wondering when
the phone rang.
Is this the call that will tell me she may have ODed, again?
Come get her body from her gang?
Many nights I spent in tears, and prayers throughout
the night?
Why Dear God does she not want to do what is right?
The many times she came home, and the police I
had to call.
One time she nearly killed her brother Brennan,
throwing him against the wall.
Dirty names I shall never forget. I was her mother
how can she call me that?
Was like cutting my real heart from my real chest
this person I begat?
A dear friend came to rescue. Reasoning with me,
compassionate with words of comfort.
"Connie your children grow up, have minds of their own,
some from good divert!"
"But why? I still don't understand why?
I wish I could die.......yes I wish I could die!"
Then our Loving Creator came to mind. He created
two perfect people, one male, one female,
Gave them everything good, nothing did he deny them.
One small command, yet they could have eaten from
all the other trees......
They both turned against him, and his government
arrangement, His Kingdom.
Oh My God, how hurt you must have been.
I know, because I too can feel your pain,
like me You were a victim.
Both of Your perfect creations turned against you, they
had so little love or appreciation.
Please tell me God what did You do or not do?
Did they turn bad because of your action?
I knew to go to His word, that's how He speaks to
us today.
And the answer I found, that gave me much consolation
was found in His Word....this is why they go astray,
For God whose name is Jehovah says,
"Their own feet keep running to sheer badness......
A heart that is fabricating hurtful schemes,
and feet that are in a hurry to run to badness."
"Thank You Dear God, Thank you.....
I can now understand,
finally I can be at peace."
I hope this will bring comfort to any
parent that has had a child stray
e'vn though they were loved,
and deprived of nothing,
I hope this brings
you peace
also!
Created by
Lovingcritters
consue
July 4, 2005
Bible: Proverbs 6:18
and Isaiah 59:7
I have not seen my daughter
nor have I heard from her for 20 years.
Her brother, my son, was taught well by her
and he finally ended up in prison.
*Consoling Smiles*
with a broken heart
that is slow to heal
but at least is
trying to
go on.
Copyright © Lovingcritters
... [2005-07-0906:39:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
(User Rating: 1)
by emystar on Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 10:28:10 PM AEST
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So very sad, mom, but so prevelent today.
I've seen and known of people of very young ages die from chrystle meth. It's very sad but great writing. They just get caught up in what others do.
Hang tuff mom. a great write.
huggs, luv,
emy |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
(User Rating: 1)
by NoSaint on Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 11:20:35 PM AEST
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Sad it is but God also heard your plea and gave you another son who is there by your side
Hugs
Shari |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by Elizabeth_Dandy on Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 08:07:08 AM AEST
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Your story is so heart breaking.- Infinitely sad, but being so well versed in scripture dear ConSue, and man's sin when he disobeyed in the Garden of Eden, you must be familiar also with the profound saying of St. Augustin"
"Oh blessed Fall, Oh blessed Fall, that brought the fullness of redemption!:
Where sin abounds, grace will super-abounds.
Without that "Fall" there would have been no Incarnation, - i.e. God becoming flesh to dwell among us, He foresaw that man would fall, and infinite mercy outdid this fall by crowning it with the unimaginable gift of the Incarnation. He himself became man.
So take heart. Entrust your care to Him.
Your write is brilliant, heart=rending and supremely courageous.
Be blessed
Hat-s off to your guts.
Warm love
Elizabeth:
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by shelby on Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 07:40:44 PM AEST
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connie this is so very sad. written with so much feeling as you do I felt each moment with you
hugs
Michelle |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
(User Rating: 1)
by MorningDove on Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 02:44:28 AM AEST
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We are only parents, my dear friend. Not miracle workers.
Much love,
Dove |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by rhyrhy on Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 06:04:17 PM AEST
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This was a beutiful story! It gave me chills...it almost made me cry. I am 16 years old and i have lost a lot of friends from drugs. I know it must be hard for you. Remember that God wont let you deal with anything you cant handle. Just trust in God and He will get you through the rough times! God bless you! You and your family will be in my prayer!
Your sister in Christ,
Rhyan |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by blowfish_jane on Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 12:17:04 PM AEST
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Mom, this was such an inspirational poem. Thank you for sharing your beautiful wisdom to all of us.
Hugs,
Jane xxx |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by LOWMAN613 on Monday, 18th July 2005 @ 10:06:58 PM AEST
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Oh Connie I truly feel the pain in this,so sadIt just never sems fare at times we try so hard to teach our kids right sometimes it slaps us in the face! I wish rhat your daughter will see the light one day & know your love was given in every way! God bless! Christina |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by sweetangeluk on Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 08:13:52 AM AEST
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This tore at my heart Sue.
My cousin who I grew up with was a loving kind boy.
He was diagnosed with diabetes at a 11 years old and had to have injections every day.
He met up with some bad people in a gang and at 14 was taking injections of heroin.
As the years went by he took more and more. He lied stole and cheated to get the money for his fix.
His parents bailed him out of the cells so many times. Paying thousands for solicitors fees.
He broke in to houses to sell other peoples property. Videos Tvs anything did not matter what as long as it brought the money in for his daily injections.
Many times he went into rehab again funded by his parents.
He was a shell of his former self like a zombie. Skin so grey and shallow. Veins collapsing due the needles that he pierced his body with each day.
One time when he was around the age of thirty went once more into rehab. We went to visit him and I cried and held him close.
There before me stood a handsome man with a body that had been cared for and nourished. The gym had pumped up his wasting muscles.
We went for a walk outside the views were amazing.
He took me to a field where horses were grazing and he said 'this is life without the poison in me I see beauty. What have I been missing all these years. No longer existing now I feel.…
Promised that he would stay away from all the people who were not friends but just people who could supply the poison to him. Stayed at his sisters 60 miles from his home town when he came out of rehab.
Got back into his art work the pictures he drew were exceptional. The beauty he now felt showed in his drawings.
Just when he slipped we cant say but alas he went back to his daily fix
Now at the age of 39 was wasting away.
One night I had a terrible dream I told him of my vision and held him in my arms. Crying please be careful Steven someone is going to give you some bad stuff and in my dream you were dying. He assured me he would be fine. Two weeks later he died.
At his funeral they played somewhere over a rainbow.
I cannot listen to that song without my heart breaking in two. I am crying Sue as I write this.
Images of the little boy whose smile lit up a million faces.
The guilt his parents felt.
He left behind two parents who loved him so very much and did all they could for him.
My uncle his father took his death badly as they did everything together he was his rock his shadow his best friend.
The stress took it out on my uncle and he is now going blind. There is nothing the surgeons can do to help his condition.
He sleeps in his sons room now and at night he lays crying for a son who lost his way.
Thank you for writing this lovely story I will pass it on to his parents whom I pray find some comfort from the words written.
I know I did.
I love you Steven and you will live on in my heart forever.
Thank you Sue
Love Angelxxxx |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by twobabies on Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 12:01:23 PM AEST
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beautifully written. I myself have 2 children, both boys ages 2 1/2 and 6 months. Your story really touched me and i will never look at how i raise my children the same. I know that every little thing i do affects the outcome of their life so now with reading your story I will try harder and better to raise them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by Seans_Girl on Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 11:20:05 PM AEST
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Thanks you for that story. My fiance was into drugs but he stopped and was clean for almost two years. Then for some unknown reason he started back up again. When our kids were only 5 months old he started back on drugs again and I did not what him around my kids if he was going to be doing that. So we broke up and he went to rehab to change. I told him that if he wanted to see his children he had better straighten up his act. So now he's in rehab trying to get better.
Natalie |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by fishey on Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 07:40:56 PM AEST
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Thank you for having the courage to write your story. I am raising two daughters and often times feel all alone. Their pain is difficult to handle at times, and I often feel at the end of my rope. Just when I think I can't keep on, something always brings me hope or encouragement. You have done that today, for me. Thank you. |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by chrisdavid on Thursday, 12th August 2010 @ 01:19:52 AM AEST
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Hi Connie.
I was looking through the story section on the site [ first time ] and read this sad piece. Everyone is different despite their upbringing. I come from a family of three brothers, myself and my younger brother both work and lead a normal life but my older brother went off the rails fairly young. He's been in trouble with the police and has been to prison, he takes drugs and apart from a few months when he was 17, he has never worked and has no intention too, either. He is now 31. The point is we were all brought up the same by two middle-class working parents but he was the one that chose to go across to the other side, as it were. Everyone knows the right and wrong but it's down to the individual to make that choice. Don't blame yourself for what happened to your kids, you did all you could.
Anyway, a really touching story.
Take care, Chris. |
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Re: I LOST TWO CHILDREN TO DRUGS!
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by Domination on Wednesday, 13th June 2012 @ 01:55:39 AM AEST
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Hi, I can kind of relate to what you have been through. I am not a parent, but I have seen this first hand before. Sometimes it takes for someone, adult or kid, to bottom out, to go to the darkest, ungodliness corner of the universe, to bounce back. Whether it be prison, or rehab, God works in mysterious ways. Don't give up on your son. You never know where things will end up. And with his situation, he probably needs you now more than ever.
You have a gift by the way. Very vivid story.
-Domination- |
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