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a brokenhearted's promise
Contributed by
hermoiii
on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 04:46:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
notopic
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i will never write another ryhme
nor make a tune out of time
i will never try to love again
coz it just brought me a lasting rain
i will never try to bloom in may
i might just wither in winter's vain
i will never search for that one grain
for i dont want to feel these myriad pain
and most of all i will never attempt to try
coz i dont want to see myself fall again and die
Copyright ©
hermoiii
... [
2003-06-25 16:46:01] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Re: a brokenhearted's promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by on
Sunday, 29th June 2003 @ 09:10:45 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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firstly, im not sure why this is in the members special section, but ohhh well... also i think the poem was good, you need not worry about changing your poems to make them better, they should just be honest words. however, i will say that although i enjoyed the rymes i find that you were a little too focused on them, and i think the meaning of the poem might have gotten lost because of this, i personally thought it was a little vague, and so im not sure i really know what this is about... p.s. im just tryingf to give you a little constructive criticism, i think it is fine the way it is and i hope to read more of your poetry ~Apryl |
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