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Melancholy Indifference
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 05:32:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Lonely walk under a blood red sky
scattering the remains of you & I
Toss the memories from another day
forget the words that you didn't say
4 x 6 happiness---can no longer relate
Call your favourite enemy for a friendly debate
Glare at me with that cold emptiness in your eyes
pretend you never gave a damn; don a disguise
Our dreams perished---shot up in flames
harsh words destroy, indifference maims
Collect your belongings at the door
but please pick up my heart, from the floor
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-07-03 17:32:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 05:55:32 PM AEST
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| kool stuff |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by CarolinaBlue on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 06:33:33 PM AEST
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| Wow, Scorp this one was difficult for me to read as I could feel the arrow piercing my heart once more having been in this place not long before. you captured this moment beautifully. well done........... ~Blue~ |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:20:56 PM AEST
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The talented Scorp does it again.
Written with such depth and pain. Outstanding and brillant as always.
hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:54:14 PM AEST
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| Your writing is inspiring to me its one thing i cant wait to see. Great job with this write. |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:46:30 PM AEST
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| hey scorp this was great, i sense self determination and a powerful inspiration..nice job |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:58:29 PM AEST
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| Another awesome write as only the one and only Scorp can do!!! Another masterpiece well penned. |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 11:54:20 PM AEST
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A wonderful write. Also a harsh reminder of what we must at times endure.
Hugs,
Seth |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 01:20:53 AM AEST
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| Really good write. i liked the descriptive language especially. |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 12:37:10 PM AEST
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Bittersweet write Scorp. My sister in law is going through these emotions.
Magnificent as only you can write
Love Angelxxxx |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 01:18:03 PM AEST
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(((((((((((((((scorp))))))))))))))) just in case this isn't just a poem scorp, sad and gut wrentching well portrayed . . .
Ben |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 04:02:32 PM AEST
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Powerful poem with vivid imagery and a sense of sadness emotionally. The focus on indifference and the fact that it maims is a potent statement. There is no state of something being more dead then indifferent
Well done, Scorp
Will |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 04:13:55 PM AEST
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well woven words, simply exquisite... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 07:22:49 PM AEST
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*sigh*...i know this poem all too well...lived it more than once.
rember...time heals all wounds.
wiz |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 10:48:41 PM AEST
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Really loved this Scorp. It holds oh so true.
Shannon
*sheding a silent tear* |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 02:00:00 PM AEST
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Very emotional and strong imagery all mixed in a fine structure of lines. I love it!
I have to say.. i'm totally taken by the opening lines they're just breathtaking.
keep up the most excellent work and thank you much for your comments on mine as well.
dwayne |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 10:34:22 PM AEST
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| You are good. Good. Love this. Peace, Laura |
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Re: Melancholy Indifference
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th July 2006 @ 08:45:17 PM AEST
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Scorpy, my dearest friend. Wow. You have SUCH a
tremendous hold on how to express your emotions!
(which you feel emphatically my dear).
My favourite line was ..
"4 x 6 happiness---can no longer relate"
God, I love that! Oh, how I know this feeling, and know
it well. I believe you and I have similar hearts, my friend.
I know this is an older write, but want to go to Hoops
and talk? lol (promise not to lose the phone)
*hugs*
~Breezy |
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