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On Going Home
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 01:56:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
AmericanTragedy
|
"I cannot write of it," she would mumble
As she fumbled with the pen. "It has been
Years... and I've still not managed it."
... but Bread had said something that
reminded her she ought to
... and anytime anyone said "Memphis"
she was there again.
She was there, standing in stunned silence,
Breathing those tense, pathetic breaths
With tears streaming down her cheeks.
She was there, not caring who passed by,
Not even knowing why, as yesterday
Appeared without an ounce of sense.
She was there, where they hung on walls,
Where she had paused, overcome by tears
That the numb would refuse to cry.
(she knew why)
... Bread would stop singing eventually
to whisper, "This is your time."
... and she'd wish she was headed back
to Memphis, instead of nowhere.
"I cannot write of it," she repeated,
Now defeated, as she set down the pen.
Recalling the magic in his eyes, and
Every
Other
Reason
Why
She did, though, in the end.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-07-03 01:56:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 02:07:59 AM AEST
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That was so cool, such neat interesting insight to a trip, that was really
cool. I thought it was really original and showed the thoughts of the
person as they were, with their own understood meaning, not someone
else's, and not clear. Awesome job, I really enjoyed it.
~Kara |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 02:10:47 AM AEST
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Snemmirita, what an emotive well-written poem. It reminds of a Cybill Shepherd song called “Memphis� it just a good ol’ country tune that stays with me where ever I go.
Good poem as always and do forgive me if my comment did not make any sense at all.
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 02:54:49 AM AEST
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Well done Snem!! Very well done. You always pick just the right format to set the mood for the reader...I love that about your writes, and you always express yourself so well!! This sounds like a very heavy, and heartfelt story that is still very much near and dear to your heart...I'm glad you were finally able to put it on paper, and share it with us as well...Great job!
Scorp ; ) |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:00:12 AM AEST
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You have alot of depth. I always think that initially when I read something of yours- because it feels real and raw and it contains the secrets we seem to not verbally speak of. Does that make sense?
You have a presence when you write that strongly echoes inside the reader.
This I know.
Excellent SNM.
Kie |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 02:26:57 PM AEST
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i enjoyed this...good job.
wizard |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 03:46:49 AM AEST
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| Very creative..deep in thought..I enjoy your unique style :-) venkat |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by glassicallyunsuperficial on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:35:04 AM AEST
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It's great.
It's like watching a real movie without the visuals, without the effects.Superb!
Cheers,
-glass |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:53:22 PM AEST
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| home is where the heart is. this reminded me of the song, that i dont even know the name or the author of it. your portrayed your soul nicely, keep up the good work snemmers. =] |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 03:18:51 PM AEST
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OK darn it! Why is each time I read this I want to cry???!!!
How did you do that????
This turned out marvelous! An emotive masterpiece.
Hats off to BG too for his remarkable memory!
Another example of no matter how long it takes, when the time is right, things have one heck of a way of coming together!!! |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 11:15:25 PM AEST
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Snem,
Very poignant write. The flow was smooth and the emotions were endearing...they made me care and want to cry too.
Carol |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 01:44:29 AM AEST
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there isnt much I can say that everyone else hasnt already covered I love the way your writes go so deep and keep me drawn into and hanging on to each and every word your talent shines on as always
Michelle |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 12:21:39 PM AEST
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Very good writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on
Friday, 22nd July 2005 @ 10:42:37 AM AEST
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Wow.
I love you, you know that?
Listen to Jarred, because he's 100% correct. |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 10:31:31 AM AEST
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Very original write.
I liked it alot.
Jeff |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th August 2005 @ 05:43:20 PM AEST
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| nice. keep writin' |
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Re: On Going Home
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 11:57:49 PM AEST
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I read this before. It immediately had a haunting familiarity to it. So where's my comment? Anyway, it seems strange I would not have said something but here goes.
It's sooooo sad and sentimental and all.....and and....
*tears*
and sweet too.
You have a wonderful heart.
Tim
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