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A Castle in the Sky
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 06:13:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Once, above the world so high
I built a castle in the sky
With dreams for stone and hopes for brick
I danced behind those walls so thick
And thought myself to be your King...
A fool, I never knew a thing
The storms of life would howl and wail
With hellish winds they did assail
And I would from my windows peer
It's warm and safe and dry in here
For far below I see the rain...
A fool, I just denied the pain
Reality then paid a call
The Castle shook, the walls did fall
The broken hopes and shattered dreams
Came crashing down with wild screams
Of how and why and what to do...
A fool, for ever trusting you
L. Carling c2005
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2005-07-02 18:13:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 07:59:01 PM AEST
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| join the club...I have lost my faith in humankind and dont trust anyone anymore |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by bgj on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 08:07:21 PM AEST
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Same here.
bgj |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 08:16:48 PM AEST
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me three and it sucks oh well thats what happens when your burned one to many times a sad write indeed
Michelle |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 11:41:26 PM AEST
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Me four lol.
Very great write.
Keep penning. |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 01:55:24 AM AEST
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Well golly gee, that was just fantastic, and my favorite thing I've read
today, rock on. I recognized your name and thought 'hey let's check it out'
and I am glad I did. Awesome write, what beautiful imagery
and twas quite original, nice job.
~Kara |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 06:59:12 AM AEST
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God that was fantastic. Everything flowed so well. I enjoyed it a lot.
P.S. Don't give up sweet Larry, not all of the human race is bad. Just believe that somehow people will pull thru one day.
Jane xxx |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:08:54 AM AEST
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The first thing off the top of my head is rhetorical to what you just wrote--
A castle built in darkened skies
Clouded blues and tempered sighs
Asked not what, that you should do
To find the one who’s made for you
A queen will come and you will fly
To a place where dreams don’t die
And when you smile and laugh again
Remember what I said, dear friend….
Keep writing L. The brightness in you is always glowing you just don't realize it sometimes...
You write beautifully. Now tell yourself that daily...!!
Kie
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:42:28 AM AEST
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A wonderful write dear sir, one that I for one felt really connected to and indeed can perhaps feel the very same. For indeed you have captured herein a lovely if painful tale of the encapsulation of life within that subtle and fragile brandishings of hopes and dreams. The imagery is apt and in my opinion wonderfully depicted. I know this for perchance I too am a dweller in the clouds...once who was brought down to this world by the tempestous winds of reality. By and by, a good write that I can relate to. Well done.
"...it is most distraught to fall far from the heights of dreams...for ones who once flew upon the wisps of hope and glimpsed what life could bring....those whose fate reserved only a long, hard fall over the brim..." |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 11:01:21 AM AEST
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Tremendous. Not all people break your trust. Life is a never ending lesson and we have to learn from our mistakes. Or other peoples. You had love and lost trust. Keep on writing and loving do not close your heart you may miss out on happiness.
A rose for you Sir sent with love
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by AmyLee4Ever on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 11:48:25 AM AEST
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Oh, wow. This is an amazingly written song. It all went together really well and the events that happened to prove your point or what you felt in the end was great too. Wow... talent. Great write...
Jodi |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 02:46:10 PM AEST
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| I have built my castle as a place to hide and enjoy my fantasy life until the real life comes along. Mr. Carling, you are not a fool. Only a man who wants to love and leave a legacy that will be remembered. You are well on you way in my opinion. Build your castles, write your stories and live life for it is too terribly short to waste. Rita |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 05:39:45 PM AEST
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I hold this in high favor my friend..
Trust, for me, is now handed out like cash..
NEVER-
Great write..
B |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:56:44 PM AEST
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AWESOME poem Larry, the flow is magnifcent and the power is outragious, pure genious larry..amazing work as always
~Clark |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 10:46:27 PM AEST
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Ooh yes I can relate to this one, being hurt
after trusting people. A very deep topic that
many can relate to I am sure. I think I liked the
middle stanza the best because as men we
often try to deny our pain which of course isn't
smart at all and then of course there's reality.
Awesome poem man I enjoyed reading this.
*Buys him a Sleeman's*
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 10:13:47 PM AEST
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Ah yes, the walls we sometimes build up seem strong and secure, only later to have our vulnerability eventually exposed. I really like this poem, the verse and flow are wonderful.
A super write, Larry
Will |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by slogan on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 04:34:25 PM AEST
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| Outstanding work...jh |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 08:25:50 AM AEST
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| This is a beautiful way to express the pain and disappointment of betrayal. Symbolic castles which should stand the test of time come crumbling down. This is art from heart. |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 09:40:47 AM AEST
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This is a beautifully sad poem, the symbolism is lovely and the immensity of each of the images (ie. castle and king as opposed to house and, uh, homeowner) only serves to heighten the understanding of the devestation wrought on you.
I loved this because I could easily relate to it.
Dom |
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Re: A Castle in the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Wednesday, 5th August 2009 @ 05:44:18 PM AEST
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I love this, the flow, the symbolism & style. Unfortunately, it's a sad truth of reality
but presented so well, just the same. :) elle |
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