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Intoxicating
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 07:59:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Intoxicating
You hold my tears
In your eyes
That condescends fears
As sacrifice.
Grays turn black for emotion,
And numbness has not a breath
Left to be swallowed by an ocean
That's no longer abyssal in depth.
A heart's always more tearful
Than painted eyes
That are divinely beautiful,
But not as intoxicating as wine.
I fell in love with you,
Not for what I saw in your eyes,
But what was seen through
Tears of sacrifice
For feeling love in a heart
That intoxicates shades of gray
To only be as dark
As pain
Unfelt in so many ways,
But drowned underneath
Waves of blackened grays
That we breathe.
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2005-07-01 19:59:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 08:03:03 PM AEST
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Wonderful.captures the taste, of a heart. It can be felt in the goodness or badness.Superb.........
Brew~ |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 08:11:17 PM AEST
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Awesome writing as always.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 08:16:08 PM AEST
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greatness jen, as always..lol
~Clark |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 08:31:03 PM AEST
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Wow girl...LOVE the emotional depth in this write. The symbolism is very well formed, and each stanza outshines the last...Great job.
Scorp. |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by burnthefire on
Friday, 1st July 2005 @ 10:48:45 PM AEST
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| this is really good. the flow is great...and you seem to really know what you're trying to say. |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 02:45:28 AM AEST
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God that's one sad poem. I loved the images of it though. You seem to be topping yourself with each submission and i like it.
Amazing write Jessen (Did i say that right?)
Jane xoxox |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Saturday, 2nd July 2005 @ 03:37:48 AM AEST
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Awwww..Jennifer, you knew the art of
writing to captivate the heart even when drowning underneath the wavesof love:-) venkat |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 08:06:00 AM AEST
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WOW Jenn...so very emotional!
I feel the love here, as well as sadness and pain...how the heck did you do that??!!
I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you!!
Great write...again!! |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 04:09:40 PM AEST
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| Wow! This was just so vivid, and really a pleasure to read. I didn't know what abyssal meant at first, but after finding out it made more sense...lol and it stands out as one of the heaviest lines in the poem. Then again, most every line in this thing holds a lot of weight. It was a heavy poem, with a lot of darkly colorful imagery, and the water is always a strong theme in most poetry, you used it brilliantly here. It was such a dark palette you used to write this, and kind of injected it into the love idea you used too. I can sing praises about this poem all day, you get so much better with each poem, it's great to see you evolve like this at such a breakneck pace! lol, but anyways I've babbled long enough, this was an awesome poem! |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 12:56:11 AM AEST
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goodness I felt as I was being bathed in
sadness as I read this. A great write just
dripping with emotion and pain. I can
definitely relate to the feeling of drowning
described in this poem. Beautifully penned
my friend (oooh what a rhyme lol)
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 03:54:30 PM AEST
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a great poem...i could feel the emotion in each line
wizard |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 11:31:44 PM AEST
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I love this piece! I'm all full of love right now but kind of sad at the same time.. the tone of this piece really described my moods so I enjoyed that. The intoxicating idea you used here I also loved, you did a great job describing it! This was one of my favorites.. you used colors again, lol I'm sure thats getting old in these comments.. well nicely done once again.
Keep it up,
.amanda. |
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Re: Intoxicating
(User Rating: 1 )
by hoist1atca on
Saturday, 4th February 2006 @ 12:43:04 AM AEST
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"I fell in love with you,
Not for what saw in your eyes,
But what was seen through
Tears of sacrifice"
Sometimes the heart will see things witha different set of eyes-
Pain,sorrow,and sacrifice are among the more overpowering of sights-
I like this verse the most-
A pleasure as always-
Joe
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