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New Life
Contributed by
Adam_me2
on
Wednesday, 29th June 2005 @ 09:43:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
From this twisted sunrise awakens my blessed slumber, I blissfully await this hated life's renewal.
At this new damned day's begining I re-live my joys, my dreams, my hope.. all mere memorys now.
I open my eyes to this new world with baited breath, and deny those worlds of old.
This new world, this new day, this new life... it fails me.
I sense no joy, I have no dreams.. I've lose you.... There in I've lost my hope.. my love..
Copyright ©
Adam_me2
... [
2005-06-29 09:43:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: New Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by nosoup4crr on
Wednesday, 29th June 2005 @ 10:47:47 AM AEST
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| You're covering tons of ground in this poem. I think there's so much, that it's hard to do justice each of the elements. There's obviously some strong feeling involved in the poem, but I think you need to move into the literal and out of the abstract in order to make it mean anything to me. Tell me exactly what you're talking about. What hope, what dreams...why does it fail you? |
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Re: New Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Wednesday, 29th June 2005 @ 12:20:03 PM AEST
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okay, i'm guessing that you lost some one you love?? i'm not sure if you want that or not... you should try to be more specific... unless that's what you want. but, i do understand that if it's been awhile, you may be rusty... i know i am... lol. but it was all-in-all good, but you may want to be more specific. and i hope all goes well for you (in writing and life)!
~sprints |
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