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Playing For Keeps
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 12:40:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Can't wait forever for a snail to crawl my way
I've given you so much, yet nothing you say
perhaps what I'm feeling is "wrong"
Maybe the truth is You and I don't belong
the trust you lack could be your downfall
Not giving an inch---you only stonewall
What more could I say or do?
Why can't it be enough that I feel for you?
I could love you so much if you gave me a chance
you're at the door; just step through the entrance
I sigh so loud---if only you could hear
but the only thing that penetrates is your unborn fear
I'm saddened and discouraged; was this your plan?
I just want to be loved and held by a caring man
What have I done wrong...have I chased you away?
Now I lay my cards on the table in full display.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-06-22 12:40:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 12:44:00 PM AEST
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Great Poem Scorp, the ending is fantastic and the entire thing just flows really well, awesome job
~Clark |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 01:14:05 PM AEST
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I wonder sometimes if men are capable of real caring. My reaction to people who play with hearts is that they should be strung up by it and left to their own devices trying to get down. jmho
Rita |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by seci on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 01:21:08 PM AEST
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| love it. describes my feelings |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 02:27:02 PM AEST
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scorp, that was excellent,
amazing write
i literally dont know what to say
keep up the good work |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 02:40:11 PM AEST
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| Scorp that is yet another great write and I hope and wish that the one its written for will see how much you mean and care for them. Take care and keep your head up my friend….Steve |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 04:47:48 PM AEST
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That is a powerful write, but very sad it is when your capacity to love so far exceeds his. How does one meet their needs with someone who always wants to flee from fear of true commitment. Beautifully expressed.
Well done, Scorp and thanks for sharing
Will |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by storm on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 07:45:33 PM AEST
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| GIRL I KNOW THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 07:54:32 PM AEST
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Good write Scorp....the first time I read it, I wasn't sure if I liked the last line. It felt like you were forcing the rhyme. So I read it again, adding a pause after 'table' and it fit well. (Sorry...not trying to nit pick...I just try to give my honest feelings when reading and commenting.) Anyway, really good write and my favorite lines were...
the trust you lack could be your downfall
Not giving an inch---you only stonewall
I really liked them, strong, vivid.
Carol |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 10:43:29 PM AEST
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send him THIS!
somehow I think he'll get the message.. lol
beautiful longing Scorp..
I hope he come's around-
Thoughts And Prayers To You-
B |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 07:00:51 AM AEST
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| Scorp, another powerfully great write from you. This is awesome and it is sad. How true it is that the one we love the most can run from us the fastest because of their own fears. I’m sure you have done nothing wrong. Sounds like you are just a deep caring person and some people just can’t handle that. Btw-did I say this is a great write? Truly strong with emotion. Very heartfelt. |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by boobiepeach on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 11:11:52 AM AEST
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i can relate. wonderful poem. i enjoyed it.
"What have I done wrong...have I chased you away?
Now I lay my cards on the table in full display".........grear imagery.
keep it up |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorkfish on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 11:48:58 AM AEST
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| Another great one! |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 05:24:17 PM AEST
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| lovely poem I really enjoyed reading it ..so I thank you... |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pisces101 on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 11:00:59 PM AEST
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| so finally..... someone has been through the same @#$% as me. (excuse my french.) what to do, what to do. your poetry is great scorp. keep it up. |
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Re: Playing For Keeps
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Thursday, 17th September 2020 @ 06:28:52 PM AEST
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Awesome.
I stay away from love.
It restructures your life. Things get complicated and when they get going good someone bails...
Too much drama. I don/'/t even take the time to know people anymore. I loved this write....
Shame these archives get put to the back.
Loved it. |
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