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Facial
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 09:35:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Beads of raw sweat
Saturate dry pale skin
And accumulate
On a hand stretched
Breadcrumbs instead
Feed the growing mistake
Of no consequence
Actions hardly intense
Motivation prevalent
Lack of talent sensed
And a waste of water
Throat cant swallow
The truth or lies
Tell me no more
Take me lower
Lower then my
My previous high
Instability, indecisive
Moving back and forth
Your perspective
Its all relative
To whom you associate
With what you believe
To where this leads
And to what desires
Makes you get lower
Get on your knees
Can’t happen again
Won’t fool me, foe
Not a genuine friend
Not a timid glance
For whom the sky opens
And the sun does its dance
_____________
________
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2005-06-21 09:35:17] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Facial
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 10:21:48 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'll comment.. lol
great metaphor..
a very "willful" write
B |
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Re: Facial
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 01:40:05 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ouch...this has a harsh bite to it. Very spiteful and negative...You get your point across well; your choice of words are superior, and I'm loving the rushed flow...Very nicely done!!
Scorp.
(who changed her mind about not commenting on this....) lol
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