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Falling Down to Touch the Sky
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 11:20:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
She needed him, then,
As much as he so obviously
Needed her, there.
It was simply
His turn to demonstrate
The so-very-much
In that particular
Right-now.
(Yet, she was the one
That came undone.)
Standing upright - she,
Seeming so utterly whole,
Looked to the world
Over his shoulder
To be quite strong,
As if she could
Handle everything
Just then.
(But, she couldn't even
Breathe without him.)
She understood, then,
That by wrapping himself
Around her in a
Don't-ever-let-go way,
He, at the same time,
Lifted her up,
So that she could touch
The sky.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-06-20 23:20:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 12:16:30 AM AEST
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You've captured a peice of heaven in this masterpeice.
huggs
emy |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 02:51:57 AM AEST
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| SNM, that was just...breathtakingly lovely and aches the heart. I can imagine the scene so vividly, it's amazing what kind of effect strangers can have on you sometimes simply by observing them. 5 stars from me, excellent write. |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 05:57:42 AM AEST
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Snemmyrines this was breath taking, what a wonderful concept for a poem.
I love the painful way you wrote it. It's sort of the type you see in a movie and yet you know this things happen everyday to people all over the world.
hope i made some sense, lately i've been to uptight to reply on poems *sighs*
Jane xoxox
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 05:11:28 PM AEST
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A lesson in love expressed so well nicely done lovely write . . .
Ben |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 09:17:26 PM AEST
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I had that kind of love for many many years. It is hard to continue living when they are gone. They were your strength, belief system, everything in life that mattered. He gave me love I never thought existed. Beautiful write. Snemmy.
Rita |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 10:10:22 PM AEST
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a very well conveyed observation
by you and your work..
wich is better and better everytime I read it..
touching indeed..
B |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 23rd June 2005 @ 09:31:47 AM AEST
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Sounds like he needed to be needed and to define himself by that. You captured this with finesse as always.
Stitch |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 26th June 2005 @ 11:20:20 AM AEST
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excellent poem.
a true summation of true love.
wiz |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 27th June 2005 @ 08:56:09 PM AEST
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The title alone is a work of poetic art.....the poem, well, let's just say that anytime I read a write and can " see" what the author saw..."feel" what the author felt....I consider it a work of absolute excellence. This , my dear friend, is one of those.
There is magic in your pen, but there always has been. ( smiles)
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 30th June 2005 @ 12:47:55 PM AEST
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I wonder if he realizes what he is doing for her, what they do for each other.... Sometimes when a persons need is so great, it seems onesided to outsiders, but we forget that the other person can benefit from having that, that sense of having someone need them, be there for them, always, catch them when they fall, hold them up, so they can become more than they are, whole, strong...inspired.
A perfect example of human symbiosis! Two halves that make more than a whole, soulmates.
Very well crafted snemmy!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by AmyLee4Ever on
Sunday, 3rd July 2005 @ 07:01:49 PM AEST
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Touching. Well... I think I know what you mean when you say you envy them. I feel the same way not about a couple, but about something else... something I wish I could have. So I think I feel your pain. Hopefully for you it won't be like that after a while... nice poem...
Jodi |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 12:27:30 AM AEST
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Aww, that was cute. I like your insight into a moment shared by
other people you had never met. Things like this are my favorite.
I've had similar moments and they are some of the most memorable
and worthy of being remembered through poetry.
~Kara |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 11:39:09 PM AEST
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Well I’m gonna be honest here.
There are other poets on here that also write in this sort of style. Mainly with just single words to express a lot. (if that makes any sense)
Writes like this, to me, are cliché. The subject matter is beautiful. The emotion was nice.
But, be more creative, be original. Maybe I’m just nit-picking, but its what I feel. I read this and I feel like I’m reading the 20+ other poets that write the exact same way.
3/5
Sorry if I was to harsh
-Arden |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 01:24:44 AM AEST
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Well, I did read this before, and thought I would wait to comment, until something valuable popped into my head.
I am back, but still have little to say, since this piece is complete in its picture, and really doesn't ask me for words. Therefore, I say what I said to begin with:
wow. Beautiful writing.
Andrew |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shattered_soul on
Saturday, 12th November 2005 @ 07:08:55 AM AEST
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Lovely write, its all i can say
~S.S |
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Re: Falling Down to Touch the Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 11:48:23 PM AEST
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So very very touching. Thank you for sharing that moment that you experienced with us in the incredible way you do.
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