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In Threes
Contributed by
avarice_riot
on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 06:02:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Bitter, bitter in the way he walks
Sold, cast out as a beggar's tear
In time a breath expelled in fear
Divides and fades beneath the rocks
And like a fool he does not see
His love is dreaming tears in threes.
One.
Blind as a bat.
Ghosts of muses grieve inside his mind
For wisps of wishes blown too early -
"I have let you sip my fires so gently
But you charred my spirits behind."
Still, like a fool he does not see
His love, she carries sorrow in threes.
Two.
Foolish denial.
These numbers will not lie for you
No matter how you slice them through
You know that as you moped your decrees
Your love was dying down in threes.
Three.
She's gone.
Copyright ©
avarice_riot
... [
2005-06-20 06:02:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 06:56:51 AM AEST
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Awesome writing that captivates one to think.
huggs,
emy
Good to catch up with ya agin, |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 07:16:40 AM AEST
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| In 3 steps the love was gone..all this is due to foolish egotism..well designed and well written my dear friend. :-)venkat |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 07:39:28 AM AEST
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| brilliant I absolutely loved this,,so my hats off to you,,,ty for the comment,,,, |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 07:55:32 AM AEST
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Outstanding. This just blew me away. I am speechless; I am without speech.
Spike |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 09:34:44 AM AEST
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This was an amazing write! I really enjoyed this it was very creative and intellegent. Keep up the writing.
Wonderful piece!!
--amanda-- |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by FIX on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 01:43:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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love left on the jagged rocks.
three jagged rocks.
compelling.
FIX |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 06:01:17 PM AEST
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a countdown in excellence..
I think we all could heed this write
in that we need to love our own
with a sense of urgency..
everyday could be the last-
B |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 08:03:58 PM AEST
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This poem speaks volumes of truth, sadly. I have never understood why so many put so much above the needs and cares of the one they love. That should be your biggest priority, above all else. Splendid write, Ave.
Rita |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 02:33:36 PM AEST
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This is excellent! I love the format and the carefully chosen words. I can see you put a lot of effort into this write, and does it ever show..!! Well done.
Scorp. |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 24th June 2005 @ 03:42:56 AM AEST
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A very well thought out and constructed poem. Excellent.
Johnny. |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Saturday, 25th June 2005 @ 08:52:44 PM AEST
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| Wow, I love this. The format works so well. Man_On_High hit the nail on the head with "a countdown in excellence.." Excellent work. (^_^)b |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 03:55:54 AM AEST
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And like a fool he does not see
His love is dreaming tears in threes.
By the time I got to those lines... you already had me. And you held me, rapt, until the very last extraordinary word.
This is phenomenal. "love dying down in threes".... wow.
~Snemmy |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th May 2006 @ 07:58:29 PM AEST
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Gosh this is so good.....I hope to see you post something new soon.
I just love the way you crafted this, it flows soooo well! |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 04:59:36 PM AEST
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Dang, you really have to update your page more often, hun.
I must say, you're still one of the best poets on here, to me, even after such a long time.
I hope you update soon.
I like the message behind this.
Great write,
Phyllis xxx |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Friday, 19th May 2006 @ 02:55:19 AM AEST
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wow this is very good. I like the format of it. It has a good edge to it:)
~Lo |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 01:44:11 AM AEST
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a blind fool.. and you're gone~
..good for you..
Love only comes once..
Nice job..
B |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th June 2006 @ 11:36:35 AM AEST
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Oh Wow! This is a masterpiece, Ave! In baseball terms and the terms o' the heart, three strikes and yer out. Such depth to the observations, conclusions and justifications. Kinda like a popular country song here in the US by I think Toby Keith, She's Gone! Losers lose. I'm in awe of your word work.
wabl
KenMoore'
Cowboy |
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Re: In Threes
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 10:39:38 PM AEST
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Oh ave, you are one brillaint poet.
Where have you been?
Loved this write...
~Hanna |
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