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you, my torturer
Contributed by
luke
on
Saturday, 18th June 2005 @ 10:43:33 AM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
on into the everlasting spectrum in your mind
i never even thought someone so cruel could be so kind
after looking back how could have i been so blind
I sometimes wish i could just press a button and rewind
it easy for you to say, you had nothing to lose
i was wrapped around your little finger, happy and confused
strangled by the twisted lies that fell upon your noose
secretly being teared apart by emotional abuse
but still i cant afford for you, my torturer to go
im feeding off the pain inside your head, ready to implode
ripping me to peices happily living off your woe
draining me slowly till im as low as i could go
Copyright ©
luke
... [
2005-06-18 10:43:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: you, my torturer
(User Rating: 1 )
by AbnormalPunk on
Saturday, 18th June 2005 @ 11:12:56 AM AEST
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| ok... i hope you dont get mad when you read this... because when i comment most people get upset at what i have to say... but are you serious with all this? do you think your gothic or something by writing about nooses and torturers...? dont you realize that you are the only one that tortures yourself...? your 14 and an amazing writer... this was a well written poem... but a waste of it.... be happy... be optimistic... if you whine about your 'pain' all the time.... what are you gonna accomplish.... and if you think your gothic and original by writing like this... take a look at the THOUSANDS of other 'original goths'.... be yourself... for your own sake |
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Re: you, my torturer
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 18th June 2005 @ 02:23:32 PM AEST
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I thought this write was pretty good given your age and experience. A little choppy in a couple parts, and a typo here and there, but still quite decent. "teared" should be "tore"
Keep it up, you'll only get better...
Scorp. |
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Re: you, my torturer
(User Rating: 1 )
by burningintherain14 on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 01:59:04 AM AEST
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| awesome poem! I myself am only 14 too. Keep up the good work! |
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Re: you, my torturer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rikki on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 11:57:01 PM AEST
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You are a fantastic writer. That person who said you were trying to be goth, how do they know that you weren't molested or something?
That's kinda what I gathered from your words, but the only one who knows what it's about is you, right?
Anyway, you're a good writer. Another thing, I can't write well when I'm optimistic and happy. Maybe you're the same and write better when you're sad. People are different.
Rikki |
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