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Apocolypse Of Doom
Contributed by
HoPeFuLtKn
on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 12:38:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
That deep, dark corner in the back of the room,
Sets the childs torn heart into an apocolypse of doom.
From which birds from hell show her each dim day,
A spot in the cold ground she will, for eternity lay.
Her tiny body found in that corner where she use to live,
No one ever took the chance to realize the love she could give.
To the poor child, death was but a dream, a mystic place,
Awakening each dark morning to see lifes griming face.
Tears poured everytime she would open her gloomy eyes,
Since she was born, they did nothing but program her into lies.
For that girl of 4 was glad her life ended of sorrow,
The apocolypse of doom made it an impossible tomorrow.
Copyright ©
HoPeFuLtKn
... [
2005-06-17 12:38:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Apocolypse Of Doom
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 12:43:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Beautifully dark, and amazingly emotional, this is awesome work and i can only look forward to more of it, Amazing, you have a talent, dont let it go to waste.
~Clark |
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Re: Apocolypse Of Doom
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 01:14:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree with what Clark said, this is awesome.
I love how dark it is, but it is so sad too.
He is right, you do have talent.
I wish there was more.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Apocolypse Of Doom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lurking_Shadow on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 11:16:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, that's really deep and dark. I like it a lot. You had the reader (me) hooked from the first stanza to the last. Great imagery! The only negative thing I have to say about this is that it could've been longer. You should try to make it longer, it'll only give a greater impact in the reader. But as it is, I really really like it! Keep writing you have talent. I'm sure I'm not the only fan you have out there.
P.S: Thank you for your comment about my poem. Please feel free to check out my other poems ^ ^
~Karla |
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