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Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
Contributed by
MajesticPoet
on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 08:45:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
-------________---------------
The streets are empty tonight and I
I'm taking the wrong way home
Thinking of all the things you've sent
And all the things you've said
Soon the rain starts to fall
Can't see anything at all
This rain hits my face as I cry
It's not fair I don't understand
How it's possible to feel this way
I tried to show you what you mean to me
Just what you mean to me
I hate when the things that I do make you cry
It tears me up inside
What can I do to make this right
This rain hits my face as I cry tonight
I'm still stuck in that same place
And it's starting all over again
I'm still stuck in that same place
Where I die once again
Breaking the stillness the silence has failed
And my pulse has quickened again
Holding on here by a thread
Please don't leave me here for dead
Overlooking what should mean the most
Or is it just too plain to see
Disguised and neglected fill my mind
Disguise and neglect fill my mind
How could I lose all I have fought for inside
That will never suffice
Selfish behavior is practiced so wide
This rain hits my face as I cry into this night
I'm still stuck in that same place
And it's starting all over again
I'm still stuck in that same place
Where I die once again
Breaking the stillness the silence has failed
And my pulse has quickened again
Holding on here by a thread
Please don't leave me here, don't leave me
Cause it's not enough to say I love you
It's not enough to be willing to die for you
It's not enough to smooth over the things I've done to hurt you
There must be a way
There's only one way
Only one way to show you How I love you so much
Breaking the stillness the silence has failed
And my pulse has quickened again
Holding on here by a thread
Please don't leave me here, don't leave me here
For dead
No don't leave me here
No don't leave me here
Please dont leave me here for dead
You are the one and only one in my eyes
This rain hits my face as I cry blood tonight!
Copyright ©
MajesticPoet
... [
2005-06-16 20:45:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 08:52:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was beautiful written with such passion
and pain. I wish I couldn't relate to this, but I
can and I think most people have an idea of
the pain you are feeling right now. Like I said
I loved this, but I thought it could've done
without the last two lines because the
previous stanza wraps up the poem perfectly
in my opinion. Remember that your pain will
not last forever.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by foxfire44 on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 08:58:34 PM AEST
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| you have a lot of sorrow and passion in your soul you have the poets soul good poem, however try not to dubble your line saying them twice ...you got the message through with the first time line...... |
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:11:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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sad write...almost made me cry. Very emotional and honest.
Ive cried in the rain too over someone..and in a sense I feel I still am.
I wish you all the best and can honsestly understand your heart's anguish. |
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:50:52 PM AEST
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Wow!
One can feel it when u put pen to paper..
It's sad but it's full with luv, understanding, sorrow and all them things. It's remarkable how u jus lay it out there. I don't see how anyone could walk away from a write like this.
Luv, huggs, hope,
emy |
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 10:21:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This really sounds like it could be a song
you should go to the papa roach web site and watch the scar video |
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 12:14:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Yes, feeling no hope.. no tomorrow.. a lot of sadness and darkness.. lost.. despair, alone..being neglected, not respected.. overlooked etc...
The character is confused, feels so unloved..
The choice of words you used, allows the character to become very, very visable...
Empty streets, going the wrong way home, rain hitting your face,being blinded by the rain, being stuck in the same place, overlooking what should mean the most, neglected, selfish behavior, silence has failed..
However, when I read these parts to your poem...Happier thoughts come to mind.. I can sense the sun trying to come through, drying up all the rain. Lots of hope for the character.. in that he/she won't die and will be able to make it through.. yes.. disturbed silence.. enough to keep the character alive.. such as...
Thinking of all the things you've sent, all the things you've said, just what you mean to me, pulse has quickened, holding on, too plain to see, there must be a way, how much I love you, only one in my eyes..
Anyway, Maj, silly as you think I may be,
I must let you know, I said a prayer.. for the character-characters in the poem..
In hopes that the rain will stop hitting the character in the face..
That the character will not be neglected again,
That the character will live on regardless of the situation.
Very, very powerful writing piece.. so full of action.. very visible.. you write very well.. you know how to use your senses..
Your truly,
Raquel Leah... (poetress)
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Re: Rain on my Face While I cry tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 09:11:59 AM AEST
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WOW.
This was absolutely amazing! The ending was phenominal. This was written with passion and obviously from the heart. I loved every line!
Fantastic job!
Keep writing.
--amanda-- |
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