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Come Undone
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 03:56:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
You speak of my love like you've had experience like mine before
and this is not allowed...
Tears and heartache have washed up on shore
another heart lost in the crowd...
The beat so loud it makes you mute
irregular but steady...
A haunting silence you can't refute
feelings tossed like confetti...
It draws you in; but don't get too close
fires churning within...
One hit could be a lethal dose
let's give in to sin...
Clouds from above part like legs
the sun strikes its mark...
Breathing in her hideous plagues
taunting like a shark...
Just one taste of something so divine
tongue piercing through ice...
With shooting stars our planets align
devouring something so nice...
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-06-16 15:56:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 08:23:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Avery nice between the lines peice of poetry,
discrete and yet naked in it's thruth . . .
Ben |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:04:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i love it more than ben does...lol!
(if that is possible) |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:40:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very well written poetry, powerful and i love your use of words.
I enjoyed reading this. |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 10:28:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm awash in the power of this write scorp..
very impressive..
5 stars from me..
B |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 05:45:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I am also impress .
wow scorp this write is like totally awsome.
Keep them coming. |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 08:12:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow. This was a very.. I don't even know but this was amazing! Wonderful write! The structure was great I'm surprised you kept it up through the whole thing, nice job! Very nice ideas and thoughts put in to this.
Keep writing!!
--amanda-- |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 30th June 2005 @ 10:04:46 PM AEST
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| =] very nice scorp. i just loved your rhymes, your substance, the beginning, and the end. very well done. your creativity shines as it should. just dont take too much of the limelight with it =]. so have you posted the poem with the line you thought you plagerized? |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd July 2015 @ 12:18:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very very Scorptastic!!! |
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Re: Come Undone
(User Rating: 1 )
by JamesStockdale on
Sunday, 30th August 2020 @ 10:08:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Love the message and format.....
Very unique writing.....
Wowsa.....
JS |
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