|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
A Forgotten Love
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 08:26:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
A Forgotten Love
A star blisters
Brightly in darkness
For the rays splinter
With sultriness
Of such contempt
For differences.
Stagnation ferments
With meaningless
Tirades of wanted
Blissful perfection.
Flaws are flaunted
Without perception
Of what is seen
With ignorance.
Yet, the star gleams
With a resemblance
To a love that hasn't been forgotten
But is still wanted.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-06-15 20:26:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 08:30:09 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very creative writing.
huggs,
emy |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 08:31:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Awesome poem jen, amazing wording, terrific structure and an all around Fabulous write
~Clark |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 10:05:18 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
well the subject is Love remembered, though to me, it seems as though there's more of a big word usage then emotion in it.
so what i'm saying is, that its kinda dry.
its a very well written poem, just kinda blah.
but thats just my opinion. 4/5
-Arden |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 12:14:19 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
What a beautiful poem truly a work of art . . .
Ben |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 05:48:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Well the beauty and magnitude of this write isn't lost on me...This is truly excellent. Your emotions are strongly portrayed in this poem.
I can sense the frustration, some misunderstanding, yet still deep love...and hope. Great job Jen.
Scorp. |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:41:55 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Amazing word usage that came together with an effortless, easy flow.. though I think it may have been stronger as a whole verse instead of 5 seperate stanzas.
Still, an amazing write indeed.
B
|
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 12:58:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
There is only one thing I could change in this. Well, only one word actually.
The last line, I would change 'but' to 'and' because 'but' doesn't make complete sense, if you get me.
But then, I'm just picky :P
I love this though, you use your words very well, and make them beautiful.
Great write hun,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 07:41:07 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was a beautiful piece! I loved it, the structure was very nice and the rhyming scheme was very creative and made you really think about the concept here. This was a nice play on words, the ending was amazing as well very heart wrenching.
Keep up the beautiful writes,
--amanda-- |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doubtless_One on
Tuesday, 6th September 2005 @ 09:42:34 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
it's very meaningful and well thought out
great write |
|
|
Re: A Forgotten Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 14th December 2008 @ 12:28:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
The ending notes the heavy, crippling, overly maddening mystique encompassing nothingness tied with continued existence. Interesting concept; the use of the star metaphor was quite unique, and it had a hint of sadness throughout. Discontinuation is a very interesting subject for me, and I think you handled it with some skill.
(If you turn the first twelve words into an acronym, you get two new words :) |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
