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The Cheating Heart
Contributed by
dorkfish
on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 04:52:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Melting away like a block of ice
Suffering through the pain and strife.
Heart full of love and absolute devotion
Breaking it down with a hurtful notion.
Pure thoughts turned to rage
Felt locked in a cage
Stumbled on her own self-hate.
Shreaking with ire
Burning with desire
Unwilling to accept the fate.
Words were said out of anger
Felt like a stranger
Struggling to find the truth.
Searched for answers to all the why's
Nothing heard, but tearful cries.
So much kept hidden under rows of emotional sleet
Realized the truth that was burried so deep.
Copyright ©
dorkfish
... [
2005-06-15 16:52:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by crystalfire on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 05:08:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well, this poem is quite depressing. It is so truthful though, and many people are really like that when they get angry. The rhyme scheme is wonderful and the closing line keeps you thinking. Good work! |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by DesolantDreamer on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 05:52:10 PM AEST
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| very nice and filled with sadness and anger. luv it! |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 09:52:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i would have liked to see something rhyme with truth in this, because fate rhymed with self-hate and truth is just left alone. yet, that can be significant in a way as it is portrayed. this was very well written, and you had excellent rhythmn that made this very enjoyable. |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 06:31:50 PM AEST
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*claps* Well, well done! This is an excellent piece of poetry. The emotions and depth in this are fully felt...You put this together very well.
Scorp. |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 12:02:13 PM AEST
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wow. This is very deep, great write!
--amanda-- |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by boobiepeach on
Friday, 17th June 2005 @ 04:42:12 PM AEST
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i hate this because it is about me :(
no i like it but i dont like boobie he stinks!
Lies lies lies!
nat |
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Re: The Cheating Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 12:32:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You are talented. Remarkably so. I for one am quite impressed with this poem of yours.
K- |
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