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My Famous last words.
Contributed by
bttrflynajar
on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 03:50:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
i swallowed the poison
forgetting the promises i had made
i let it flow through my veins
and burn my thoughts.
and as the days pass on
i can still taste it on the back of my tongue.
the guilt carries high.
and i still sit a shattered soul asking why
if only my eyes couldve been opened
before they were closed
if only the blinds could be drawn
before death is proposed
but now i lie under the ground
cold in my death
not to be found
wishing for tommorow
regretting all my sorrow
if only i could have lived
if only
my
famous.
last.
words.
Copyright ©
bttrflynajar
... [
2005-06-15 15:50:34] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Famous last words.
(User Rating: 1 ) by carebear_06 on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 04:49:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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a good poem. it helps me to realize that not everything is about me and to chose death would hurt others. |
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Re: My Famous last words.
(User Rating: 1 ) by MissEm on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 09:37:57 AM AEST (User
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"if only" -- the saddest words ever uttered.
I appreciate the point of view. To regret suicide...I wish many could have read this before they made their irreversible decision. |
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Re: My Famous last words.
(User Rating: 1 ) by rockergirl94 on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 05:23:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really like this poem, you have so many great lines and metaphors in it. They are really hard-hitting, and each part echoes of regret.
A few of my favourite lines were, "i can still taste it on the back of my tongue." and, "if only my eyes couldve been opened before they were closed."
You had a fantastic ending as well, it sticks in the reader's head.
Keep writing, keep hoping
- Julie |
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