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My Final Goodbye.......
Contributed by
lostsoul666
on
Monday, 13th June 2005 @ 02:03:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I sit here now full of temptation...
Caught up in my own situation..
I slit my wrist just only once...
Releasing my pressure from the past 4 months...
Everything is wrong, nothing seems right..
I give up...Im done with this fight..
I slit my wrist one more time...
I fall back down when I start to climb...
No one will notice...no one will see...
Can we keep this between you and me?..
I cut myself open once again...
Dont worry....I know its a sin...
Ive died today in more ways than one...
My life, my hope, and all the rest is done...
So I sit here cold and dead inside..
I have nothing left worth to hide...
You see it all, everything I do....
Bleeding wounds, I cut a little more, not much...just a few...
I watch my blood run from my wrist...
Its over now...Ive been dismissed...
Dont be sad over this choice Ive made...
Dont worry...your memories of me will soon fade..
I now hold this knife to my throat....
And leave you behind this poem i personally wrote....
Copyright ©
lostsoul666
... [
2005-06-13 14:03:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Final Goodbye.......
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 13th June 2005 @ 04:38:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I hope this is only in words because i really really hate to see a talented poet end there lifes this way.If you ever need to talk PM me.And i'll be here .
take care |
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Re: My Final Goodbye.......
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoeticMidnight on
Monday, 13th June 2005 @ 09:09:20 PM AEST
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| This poem holds much truth. When I cut more, I would usually begin with just one. By the end, i'd have done more. I understand what you feel, though as you can see, i've not gone as far as your poem entails. I enjoyed the structure you chose for your poem. Though, the second line in the fifth stanza stuck out with it's meter. To me, it kind of threw off the next few lines. Overall though, I think this is a very good poem. I just hope that you don't go to the extent of the poem , but I understand it is helpful to get it down in means of poetry. You did a wonderful job in capturing what happens. The last stanza was a befitting farewell for the living. Keep writing! |
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