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The White Wizard
Contributed by
thorns
on
Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 04:00:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
I met some friends in a forest.
I knew them though they did not know me.
I let down the veil, the mask of light,
Allowing their eyes to see.
I may have forgotten the name,
But the whole time I knew myself.
"Gandalf!" they said in worshipful wonder,
My friends, the man, dwarf, and elf.
Copyright ©
thorns
... [
2003-01-05 04:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The White Wizard
(User Rating: 1 )
by atwojay on
Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 12:56:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I'm ambivalent toward this poem. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect and I have to like that - and it's about Gandalf and he's cool. I think what you don't like is that the rhythm moves along quickly and bounces too much? |
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Re: The White Wizard
(User Rating: 1 )
by wordsy on
Tuesday, 7th January 2003 @ 06:58:02 AM AEST
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And though they knew me not
They know me still
A nice wording,
wordsy. |
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Re: The White Wizard
(User Rating: 1 )
by nomad on
Wednesday, 8th January 2003 @ 06:59:11 AM AEST
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| Thorns, I don't understand why you don't like this. And what's wrong with it rhyming? This is GREAT! Vivid imagery, good rhythm, splendid story potential. Me thinks thou art to hard on self. |
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Re: The White Wizard
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 11th January 2003 @ 03:12:42 AM AEST
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Dearest Thorns @-<<-
((Gandalf)) Every wizards envy! That was a powerful place in the story and I feel you did an excellent piece; espescially as you have it all Right There in a flowing perfect poem..
Always Nessa
huggs* |
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