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ssserpentsss
Contributed by
ashleigh4
on
Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 12:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
knife will slide acrossssssssssssss
scratching the glasssssssssssssss
the serpent writhes past, tail flicking fast.
can you pick up the ssssssssshardssssss?
piece me back together?
and disguise the cracks of my smooth exterior?
can i bite from the apple of knowledge
and piece the puzzle together
as the serpent ssssssslidessssssssss
and laughs.
can't you help me?
pick me up from this ssserpentine road
and touch me.
just touch me.
sssssssssssave me, she whispers,
as she savours the apple,
and all is revealed.
that she and i are meant to be
for all of eternity.
that eden is really pergatory...
i wait to live my life,
away from the serpent,
yet it follows, alwaysss followssssssssss
Copyright ©
ashleigh4
... [
2003-01-05 00:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ssserpentsss
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 01:21:34 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was interesting and unique. I think all the s's sort of detracted from the poem. I didn't like this as much as your other poems, but it was still good. The line, 'that eden is really purgatory...' is very interesting and makes u think. I'll be lookin for more of yer stuff!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: ssserpentsss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 09:14:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very creative... I like |
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