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Truth
Contributed by
Lyn
on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 05:36:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Back stabbing liars run through my mind.
This pain I am feeling is robbing me blind.
My emotions and fears are now proving true,
You're running to me, Im running From you.
So leave me alone now, just please stay away.
I want to disappear before it's to late
Trying to move on from my past mistakes,
Though the ones they were made with are still in the way.
So just please leave me be, Yes leave me alone
Im so tired of fighting, Im past being done.
For I am the one taking the blame,
Yes all fingers constantly pointing at me.
Stop criticizing and one day you'll see.
That's not a threat, a joke, or a promise.
That is reality,,,, Or at least for the moment.
Copyright ©
Lyn
... [
2005-06-08 17:36:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Truth
(User Rating: 1 )
by brittaney on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 05:40:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is an awesome poem. i feel this way so much! I really like the beginning...
Brittaney~ |
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Re: Truth
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 05:46:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I found this well written, with a good sense for rhythm and rhyme. The theme is serious... but it feels as if it didn't quite come through as fully as it wanted to. To me it seemed so, perhaps I'm just dense today. I would suggest a bit less repetition, and more imagery to bring the feeling home to the reader. Enough with the critique, though. This is good work, keep at it.
And welcome to YPDC.
Andrew |
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Re: Truth
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 06:10:52 PM AEST
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Lyn
Your poem sent its message very clear. I think you should have gone under "Angry" poetry,but either way it was well written.
Sinned |
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Re: Truth
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lyn on
Friday, 10th June 2005 @ 06:01:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is lyn, thanks for all your posts and advice. Keep them coming. ;) |
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