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Bedroom Eyes
Contributed by
jyssvw22
on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 10:18:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Entangled in your arms
My body feels like it floats
Surrendered my resolve
My mind feels overdosed
I feel you come closer
I can recognize your scent
I feel your hand on my shoulder
And then its rapid descent
Your bedroom eyes
Stare a hole through the essence of me
Straight to the point
You are a women yet to be pleased
You have been deserted
Never an orgasmic reached
So cynical and suspicious
You must be one hell of an actress
________________
____________
Copyright ©
jyssvw22
... [
2005-06-07 22:18:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bedroom Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 10:24:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oooohhh *OUCH* I love it. Sexy, if a little sarcastic...lol
Scorp. |
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Re: Bedroom Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 10:26:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Personally, I think the end needs some work to have it flow with the
beginning and first part. You did an awesome job on the beginning,
I'm not sure how to explain myself. But yeah, good poem mostly. I'll
look for your name more often.
~Kara |
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Re: Bedroom Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 7th June 2005 @ 10:33:23 PM AEST
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Is there a sequel ? It is like it ended in the middle. You left me hanging there without an ending. Please, please, give me an ending.
smiles,
rita |
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