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A once solitary soul
Contributed by
little_genna
on
Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 01:08:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I hold so much,
I am soft to the touch.
Yet so badly scarred,
This life is already very hard.
My soft white flesh,
Now criss-crossed like mesh.
My soul yearns for you,
Is that how yours feels too?
I feel like I am not here,
And you did not see that solitary tear.
Do you hear my soul’s song?
And that with you is where I belong.
I hold so much dark,
Yet you re-awoken me with your spark.
Made me feel trust,
And so much lust.
A lust that quickly turned to love,
Do you feel that love?
Are we meant for each other?
I wish for no other lover.
You are the one for me,
I hope this is meant to be.
I have never been happier,
Jake seeing you makes my heart stir.
SJ
Copyright ©
little_genna
... [
2005-06-06 13:08:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A once solitary soul
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mangs on
Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 01:16:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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yes...its meant to be hun.....whatever dosent break you...will make you stronger....this will too.....
love always. |
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Re: A once solitary soul
(User Rating: 1 )
by gmcse8 on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 03:52:37 PM AEST
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| Started to read this, figured out very quickly for whom it was intended and then started to not read it, but then thought, what the hell, she doesn't like it all that much, wonder why, and read it anyway. Actually glad I did. I don't know who said it or what its from, but the line "Loves sweet torture" came to my mind as I read this poem. So what did I like? What was I not so enamored of? Starting with the title, I really liked that. I have liked several of your titles and this is one. There is a whole story in the title, kinda neat actually. A Once Solitary Soul. The lonely or alone soul, that according to the title is no longer alone. The word Once does that; says things have changed, no longer a solitary soul. So liked that. First stanza is a grabber and I like that in a poem. I want something early on to say to me, maybe I should keep reading. "I am soft to the touch. Yet so badly scared" did that for me. 2nd stanza I liked the first two lines, I liked the mesh analogy. Last two lines of the stanza I thought should have been somewhere else, felt out of key or something with the first two lines. Maybe with the last two lines of stanza five, but what do I know, I just like to read poetry, can't write it as all. Fourth stanza was a real grabber as well, last line really was good and I say that out of no pruient thoughts, just there is a sweetness to the first three lines, then bam, a real woman shows up to finish the stanza. Lastly, I thought the poem would have been fine had the whole last stanza been left out, but its opinion only, honest opinion, but opinion. Ok, I liked it, I thought it had some really good things in it, and I plan to read it again sometime. So be not fond of it if you like, its your poem. But for the most part I liked it. Bob |
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