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Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
Contributed by
THEL0STDREAMER
on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 01:40:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Here's a simple story,
about a girl 14 years past.
She fell in love with a guy,
but they moved too fast.
His smile was never real,
his laugh just so fake.
To get involved with him
was all but a foolish mistake.
His fists brought her down,
his fury bruised her inside.
All the abuse
she had to hide.
They were the ideal couple,
smiling whenever you looked their way.
She'd say she was happy,
but she wasn't anywhere near okay.
He bruised her with his fists,
hurt her with his demands.
Now he's running because
he's got murder on his hands.
Hidden away in her deep, dark grave,
far too young to die.
Every single smile you saw,
was nothing but a lie.
Copyright ©
THEL0STDREAMER
... [
2005-06-05 13:40:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by toserious2 on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 01:54:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very simple.................really very simple in words but complex........highly subtle in its context with regard to chemistry of love....
Highly touchy..............keep it up but try to be positive....I love it.Good..Bye. |
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 02:15:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this hit a bit to close to home gave me chills.
powerful and so very sad breaks my heart
the ending sealed the punch great job!
Michelle |
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 03:50:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow this is really good. This write really touched me...The line; "She'd say she was happy, but she wasn't anywhere near okay..." Haunting...and the ending....nice job.
Scorp. |
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by dreamer_for_eternity on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 03:50:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love this!!! It's very sad, and it gave me the chills, but it's so tragic and well written, you are an amazing poet, never let your talent go to waste! I'm a new fan! |
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by rosethorn100 on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 05:23:28 PM AEST
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well written poem - yet so sad - i could feel the emotion and tragic - it also show to us not always what we see on the outside is what going on in the inside
excellant poem - but yet so hearbreaking
keep up the good work
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 12:27:20 AM AEST
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Sad but a very powerfull write.
Five stars 'cause this write just might save lives.
Thanks for sharing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Don't Fall in Love Too Fast
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dorkfish on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 02:40:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow, very sad! A very good piece, but it's just so sad. I hope this is a fictional story and not someone you know. Very good poem. If it is someone you know I'm very sorry, that is a horrible thing to happen to such a young girl. Good work, keep it up! |
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