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I wish the sun would never come
Contributed by
Doriens_Picture
on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 09:14:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
I wish the sun would never come
So we would never have to part
Never have to leave our bed
I wish the moon outlived the sun
So the day would never start
It is not enough just to have you in my head
But one more day with you is full of memories
But one everlasting night would be dream
A dream from which I would never want to wake
But my nights are never made to sleep
But are made to watch you in our scene
A scene that I would never forsake
I wish the dawn would not come
So I could look at you for ever and take it all to heart
It is never enough just to have you in my head
I wish that for at least today the moon could chase away the sun
So I could have a few more hours for they are always sweet and never tart
It will never be enough just to have you in my head
But the sun will come as and never cease
But it will come again and with it you and another dream
A dream that I would never give away even if all the treasures were at stake
But till it comes the hands will race and my thoughts will tease
But I will always win for in the end I will always have my scene
And all you beauty and charms into my soul I will take
I wish the sun would never come
So we would never have to part
Never have to leave our bed
I wish the moon outlived the sun
So the day would never start
It is not enough just to have you in my head
Copyright ©
Doriens_Picture
... [
2005-06-04 21:14:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I wish the sun would never come
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 09:33:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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great poem. not much i can say except that it was good. keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: I wish the sun would never come
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 10:35:47 PM AEST
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| wishes can come true you know, it's called turn off the lights and draw the blinds, hehe. Beautiful write, my master of word, muaw. |
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Re: I wish the sun would never come
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 12:06:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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There's a certain poignancy
that three line stanzas have that
can be afforded to no other stlye
of composition-
I love it..
Although I would shorten it up a bit..
(cut a word here and there)
for a truly flawless write.
Either way this is a great piece of work.
B
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Re: I wish the sun would never come
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 01:41:33 PM AEST
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this is a very effective write you have nothing 2 learn, or relearn, it's in there and the trials of love good or bad will bring it out, nice writting, be you and you will be what must be
the trick is 2 live with it after . . .
Benedetto John Papa Sr.
aka. Dorian Chambers |
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Re: I wish the sun would never come
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 11:08:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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awww this is beautiful john & i LOVE the rhyming style of this one, ur words are just beautiful
u do make me smile ahhh :) |
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