|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
wake up
Contributed by
that_gypsy_fire
on
Saturday, 4th June 2005 @ 02:17:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
you sell yourself short
of that which frees you in the daytime.
but under an heavy summer sky
when the stars read midnight
and reak of young desire,
with a bottle of rum and him by your side,
the world is turned upside-down by your feelings of emptiness,
and inebriated longing.
innocence,
and commonsense,
are merely spare change falling from your pockets.
and you think that there's no way to fall but down.
so,
you do.
because you're no miracle worker
and he can't walk on water.
an long unsatiated temptation floods your mind,
and you lie with your illicit lover
allowing yourself to believe,
for a fleeting moment,
that somewhere beyond creaking mattresses,
and satin sheets,
he loves you still.
the frustration and incapability of a virgin bystander to understand take hold.
can't you see,
in all your drunken folly,
that your feelings of sincerity and unwavering devotion,
are only matched by his all-too-frequent pangs of loneliness
and selfish generosity?
don't take it personally,
you were never really meant to in the first place.
Copyright ©
that_gypsy_fire
... [
2005-06-04 14:17:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 14th June 2005 @ 09:54:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great poem! I love the imagery in it...
but under an heavy summer sky
when the stars read midnight
and reak of young desire,
What a picture! What feelings you bring to the surface. I think this is a beautiful piece of prose. Thanks so much for sharing it here at YPDC.
Carol |
|
|
Re: wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by PHISHBATES on
Monday, 18th July 2005 @ 12:06:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| selfish generosity. I really like this poem and ao many things about it. mostly, how it made me feel, guilty. makes remember what a ass i've been. great work |
|
|
Re: wake up
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 03:34:51 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really liked this..
the 2nd and 3rd person speech is brilliant.
but I do find it necessary to say that your use of the word.."an" before a word that begins with a consonant is incorrect..it should be the word.."a"
that proceeds it.. perhaps it's merely an oversight..
either way..this is magnificent:
"innocence,
and commonsense,
are merely spare change falling from your pockets.
and you think that there's no way to fall but down.
so,
you do."
awesome..
Billy
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
