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My small still soul
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Thursday, 2nd June 2005 @ 09:16:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
Small still soul
you walk with me
i take time 'til
your talk is free
question questions
explore the calm
like, what's a morning
without bright dawn?
my little soul says
"my porridge is cold
can't taste the morn'
there's no brown sugar
since i was born"
I know, my soul
your patience weeps
now wipe your tears
for a few more sleeps
soon you'll see
sweet clouds of white
but 'fore you do
sleep sound tonight.
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-06-02 09:16:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My small still soul
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on
Thursday, 2nd June 2005 @ 09:35:05 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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cute poem. the rhyme was a bit simple but i think that it works better and flows better that way.
nice work. 5/5
-Rebekah |
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Re: My small still soul
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 10:07:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The style of this poem fits very well with the child like innocence you are trying to create. You captured the inquisitiveness(sp?) of the child very well.
Good write
Will |
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