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darkness
Contributed by
confused
on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 03:43:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I wake up in the middle of the night
As I struggle to find my light
I think about what you've done
I stumble across memories in my mind
Like how I thought about you all the time
As I trip over my feey
And grab onto my sheet
I can't stop thinking about you
And what to do with my broken heart
It's so hard to forget about the one I loved
I grasp my dresser as I'm being shoved
I find my wall, almost fall
I turn on the light
And stare into my broken sould
Copyright ©
confused
... [
2005-05-30 15:43:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 03:52:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was pretty good. An interesting take on a break-up...One thing; the last line lost me (??)
Scorp. |
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Re: darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by givingin on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 12:27:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Good poem.
You expressed your feelings well.
I agree. The last line was a little off from the rest of the poem.
Other than that I really liked it.
*~givngin~* |
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