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Betrayed by words
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 01:42:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The cold is spreading over me,
It's getting hard to breathe,
I'll close my eyes forever,
Because I do not want to see.
Heart is pounding painfully,
Like a bomb within my chest,
Tears are still not coming,
There is nothing left.
Hands are shaking slowly,
Shock is not here yet,
Brain will notice nothing,
It longs just to forget.
Breathing is now stopping,
Stomach is in knots,
Throat's stuck in mid swallow,
Another friend is lost.
I keep wanting to wake up now,
But this is not a dream,
And though my eyes were open,
I could have never seen,
You turned away a while ago,
You turned away again,
You only came to hurt me,
You were never friend.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-05-30 13:42:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by SkaterGirl16 on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 01:49:49 PM AEST
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Wow... I can really relate to this one
Great write :)
I really enjoyed it. |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by bethers_is_my_baby on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:02:44 PM AEST
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| awww i can realy relate to this, ive lost all my friends :( |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:09:41 PM AEST
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awww! thats awful phil sweetie! i wish i had something brilliant to say to ease your heart, but there is nothing that fills those voids right away.... i will say it is her loss in the long run as you are such a dear sweet person who i am proud to call friend!!!! remember you are loved by many phil!! big hugs n' big love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:23:24 PM AEST
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Oh, Phil... even just the pace of these piece speaks volumes. Arguments and harsh words are never easy to hear - but they are most painful, I think, when they come from someone near to your heart. In the heat of a silly argument about something stupid, my daughter once uttered the dreaded "I hate you, Mom". Eeesh! talk about hard. Of course.. .I didn't take it to heart, but obviously I haven't forgotten it.
I like the flow of this very much. I stumbled a tiny bit on the last line, thinking maybe "You never were a friend" might flow better. Of course... please, please ignore that entirely if it doesn't seem to help at all.
Another fine write, Philly! And, sorry, hun.
*hugs*
~Snem~ |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:51:29 PM AEST
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Oh wow Phil! This is so heartfelt and emotionally raw...The wording, the flow....Excellent my friend, and you just tell me who it is so I can beat them up!! j/k Don't worry Phil; you'll NEVER be short of friends...
*hugs* Scorp. |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 03:11:47 PM AEST
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WOW!! What a heart breaking and emotionally charged poem!! I feel your pain..
Well executed!!!
Jenni |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 06:12:40 PM AEST
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Very sad, Philly, and you must have been very close to her/him for it to hurt so much. But, darlin, you have friends and always will. We will be here for you as long as you need us.
Rita |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 08:09:41 PM AEST
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((((((((((((((((((((((PMT))))))))))))))))))))))))
Benedetto John Papa
aka. Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 07:12:06 AM AEST
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All i can say is it's thier loss for letting you go, your a wonderful person and i doubt it that you'll be out of friends sweetie.
Hugs,
Jane xx |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st May 2005 @ 08:24:26 AM AEST
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This was beautifully written!!!
I could feel the way it just flowed out of you.
I could also feel the shock, the denial, the pain, this is incredibly emotive!
I also wish I could make you feel better about it. You can always apologize if you truely feel you have done something wrong, but most likely you were just being yourself and if they can't deal with that it's their problem not yours. You are an incredible, sensitive and creative young woman, and I for one consider it an honor to be your friend. |
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Re: Betrayed by words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cynthia on
Sunday, 1st January 2006 @ 07:17:30 PM AEST
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| Oh Phil, this is so sad. I hope your friend sees what they have done wrong and apologises to you. ~HUGS~ *S* Cynthia |
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