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Noise
Contributed by
Jaycee
on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 12:39:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
No longer can feel
my body grows cold
result of a swan dive
a move that was bold
My heart, it has stopped
pumping life no more
splattered over the highway
scene of terrible gore
My brain has discharged
and senses go numb
ability to reason is gone
I'm dumber than dumb
My skin is crushed badly
pummelled by eighteen wheels
the driver is crying but
I don't care how he feels
My limbs, they are scattered
over asphalt and tar
sheared off by he truck
but they didn't go far
They stare up at the moon
my wide open eyes
lifeless and glossy
they embrace the night skies
My ears register nothing
I cannot hear a sound
victory over the noise
precious peace I have found
Copyright ©
Jaycee
... [
2005-05-30 00:39:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 12:55:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Jaycee I'm so glad you wrote the poem, and that's not you out there for real! In our hussle bussle world of noise and grief, war, and death, I know how you feel. But please don't follow your thoughts for the real deal! Promise me?
This was a good poem. Rhymic, and smooth, and imagery was great, I could see it all-- but too late.
Warm love
Lovingcritters
consue |
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by surge_joebot on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 03:58:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really like this, is gory and sad and really well written |
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 06:46:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very dramatic and a great write. :) |
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 11:28:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I am not one for suicide poems but I have to agree with Connie. Glad you're still around.
Great imagery in this...well done, JC..
JK |
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 11:37:09 AM AEST
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Wow---this is INTENSE. Well done! Very vivid imagery; so descriptive...Great write.
Scorp. |
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Re: Noise
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 07:32:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
oh JC! i hope that you are not rilly contemplating suicidal actions! you have two kids who care for you dearly, you have such a talent for poetry... this piece proves it. a writer you surely are. do feel better soon. you're in my thoughts.
luv n hugs n much hope,
jennie* |
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