|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Essentially Nine
Contributed by
CodyJ
on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 09:00:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
Bar scene.
Libido goes by unseen,
unchecked, as it were.
Smoke like a fog,
smell like a bog,
beer turns it better.
Highlight attraction,
girl in the corner,
doesn't seem lively,
but is ready for action.
Pretty in the gritty light,
obscene in this bar
like a fallen star
in the midafternoon.
Between her lips
and finger tips,
sits a lollipop stick
getting casual licks.
There's no talk of a good time,
no guys waiting in line,
even though she's mighty fine.
They all turn away,
because she's essentially nine.
And way too young for you.
Copyright ©
CodyJ
... [
2005-05-29 21:00:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Essentially Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 09:15:09 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
ummm ewwwwww
unless im reading this wrong..? |
|
|
Re: Essentially Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 09:53:22 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh lucky Jen getting her very own poem! lol I have to say, I like your other writes better. This one is a little, ummm creepy...(???!) Hopefully she'll see this in the so-called humourous light it was meant to be....
Scorp. |
|
|
Re: Essentially Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 11:48:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Good write.
luv it.
huggs,
emy |
|
|
Re: Essentially Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 09:49:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i dont know what quite to think of this one concept wise. i would like to know what the humor was though, because i have my ideas. i agree with scorp though. i remember your work clearly, and with what i remember, this isnt half as well written as those. forced rhymes ,and at some spots it was awkward with sentence formations. |
|
|
Re: Essentially Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 10:35:22 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Can you get any more gross or talentless? This is not even humorous. It is just weird and sick.
Puke,
Rita |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
