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Blurred Vision
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 03:05:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
ambiguous
|
Jumping stones and tossing rocks
maybe I got that backwards (maybe not)
chipping away at clay over cinder blocks
fruits of life in a melting pot....
Order in the court!! This is out of hand
one wrong thought and on trial I stand
your game is simple; you're out to reprimand
the judge let in life, but love he banned....
Trees swaying and chairs overturned
a solitary swan swimming in a lake
emotions stirred, while hearts are churned
a dog limps along with his arthritic ache....
"Take your seats!" said the judge in a booming command
a defense of insanity was quickly panned
first degree was rejected; this crime wasn't planned
the judge couldn't decide, so he ordered a remand.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-05-29 15:05:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 03:47:13 PM AEST
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| the emotions in this are strong and it is well thought out a great write |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXx_Fem_Fatale_xXx on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 04:36:40 PM AEST
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Love is powerful, love is uncontrolable and love goes where ever it wants to go....it hurts and it heals...thats the power of love.
Very nice poem, good writing!
Huggss,
Nats. |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 05:42:42 PM AEST
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| very clever. tremendous write. |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 05:49:45 PM AEST
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I love it!!! Great emotion , Great write.
Leia |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 05:54:57 PM AEST
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Yeppers, sounds like love to me! Or a few I have had anyway, lol. Great write. I like the analogies you used. Unique.
Rita |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 06:14:07 PM AEST
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lovely write
great job getting the point across
can the judge be swayed to change his sentance? |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 10:40:18 PM AEST
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A very nice between the lines poem scorp
deep in it's meaning, could feel the tension . .
nice write . . .
Benedetto John Papa |
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Re: Blurred Vision
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 10:05:52 AM AEST
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A good write and it is write very clever. It was much enjoyed as always and it has a lot of emotion in it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us that read. Take care and I look forward to more. Your friend….Steve
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