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Take Away Breath
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:21:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
suffocate me so that i cant breathe
cover my eyes so that i cant see
please plug my ears so i cannot hear
poke me in the eye and force a tear
trip me so that i fall face on the ground
scream till i cannot hear a sound
scratch me and bruise me till im bloodied blue
yell at me hurt me till i hate you
shove me in a closet and leave me to die
tear off my wings so that i cant fly
leave me crippled, show me how it feels
let me figure out how to deal
make me feel pain make me feel death
take away life and take away breath
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-05-28 22:21:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Take Away Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:44:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I'm not totally sure what to say, but this was good. It had some neat imagery
and such, and while I was reading it I wasn't sure how you'd end it, but you
pulled it off!
Good work.
~Kara |
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Re: Take Away Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:51:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a great write
i use to have this girl
we use to play games like this
i would bite her on the lip so she bled
and we kissed and stuff like that
she took the pain and dealt it well
pain can be a good thing and lots of fun
if it does not go too far
i really loved this write
i think its one of my favs
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Re: Take Away Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 02:14:46 PM AEST
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This is very sad! And what makes it worse is I know exactly what you are talking about! I am sorry you must suffer so! If you need someone to talk to, I am here! Other than that, its a wonderful poem.
Hugs and Kisses,
Seth |
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Re: Take Away Breath
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 01:05:04 AM AEST
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| A very visual poem that conveys your hurt all too well. While you say that this an old poem you've forgotten to post, I hope it is not a sign of things to come. Hoping that all continues to go well in Jennie's life and that I'm just misreading this... be at peace, my friend. |
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