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the orphanage
Contributed by
feathercut
on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 09:27:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
feathers kept in lockets
smiles that seem to burn the soul
beeded tapestries of weathered faces
mothers pearls are sold by daughters
for the junk she could not hold
sisters left in aching silence
burdened by vacancy of love
and unoccupied time
filling hearts with hope and longing
the past holds promise
for the futures lies
a rain dance or
a dead eyed farmer
singing to his crops at night
or a shoulder bared by a soldiers daughter
left to fight for her love
for her life
all these pictures seem to beg for nothing
like an infants sudden cry
carries through a silent night
but mothers will never know their presence
untill their childrens eyes lay silent in
their sight
Copyright ©
feathercut
... [
2005-05-28 09:27:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the orphanage
(User Rating: 1 )
by EverlastingDawn on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:04:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow...
So deep and moving
So beautiful in itself
I love this poem!
Great Write
~DAwn |
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Re: the orphanage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 11:45:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| sad so sad.good write. |
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Re: the orphanage
(User Rating: 1 )
by xx_lil_devilish_angel_xx on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 04:54:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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So sad and extremely moving! Brought a tear to my eye :(
Keep writing you indeed have a great talent. Like the imagery especially!
Take care,
xx_lil_devilish_angel_xx |
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Re: the orphanage
(User Rating: 1 )
by jeza on
Sunday, 29th May 2005 @ 06:43:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a good write
it is very sad
huggs
jeza |
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Re: the orphanage
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 30th November 2006 @ 09:33:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Your rythym and phrases are effective:
"...a rain dance or
a dead eyed farmer
singing to his crops at night
or a shoulder bared by a soldiers daughter
left to fight for her love
for her life..."
A well crafted piece.
Sincerely
Yangdantien |
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