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Feeling Thunder
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 03:43:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
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It began a minor defect
Disfiguring the horizon
Electrically charged particles
With a storm cloud guise on
Dark, ominous and threatening
Building, rolling, racing in
Somehow ... strangely beautiful
Whipped to frenzied by the wind
Garage door yawning open then
Offered element exposure
Torrential sheets of falling rain
As I stood in the enclosure
A sudden flash of light to left
Drew attention from my eyes
Then every hair stood up on end
Each nerve ending came alive
In a moment that seemed frozen
I felt the air then through me pass
Sound followed, nearly deafening
That's when I knew at last
Thunder's always louder
When it's felt before it's heard
In many ways the same is true of
Heart-spoken whispered words
(Authors note: I have felt thunder ... it is very nearly beyond words. I thought I'd try)
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-05-27 03:43:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 04:37:42 AM AEST
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Hmmm...Nazzy I enjoyed this scribble, and my interest is very much piqued regarding this 'thunder'.....I really like the finishing touch you gave it.
Scorp. |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 06:10:39 AM AEST
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Ah, zee thunder... I felt its ravenous growls last night... You should have seen how pathetic I was, hiding under my bed... I'm scared to death of thunder.. *shudders* Anywho, you described with the utmost eloquency and perfection, cheri. As always. :-) Beyond words, indeed... yet, your words never fail to capture the beauty, the horrific truth of it all. I admire your talent... in everything you do. Excellent piece, cheri Scott. Divine. All my love. Forever,
Your dear friend/avid fan,
Stephy! *pulls the covers over her head to hide from thunder!!* |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 10:04:24 AM AEST
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A very nice peice of writting vivid and very
animated, nice precence to it . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 11:41:25 AM AEST
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Hi Naz,
Very descriptive and graphic, again your talent with words. One can truely visualize the experience through your rendition. Could we also be relating a metaphor for a storm within?
Well done, my friend
Will |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 01:22:34 PM AEST
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That moment....... just before the thunder strikes..... when you feel the rush of the air, the power of it ---- I have been lucky enough to feel that. If you had asked me, I very nearly almost would have argued that the feeling was beyond description... but you've managed to pull it from the sky and put it on the page. Incredibly so.
This is an extraordinary piece. I've completely fallen into it. I have to confess, though, that it leaves me feeling a bit silly for rambling on so often about thunder and lightning. As you have so eloquently stated here.... the most powerful part of the storm may well be the moment just before the rumble and the flash.
Finding this poetically impressive and altogether potent,
~Snemmy~
(who is also quite taken by the concluding line but found herself unable to let go the pre-thunder sensations long enough to comment on it)
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 04:30:40 PM AEST
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| Yikes i hate storms I hate lightning and thunder.awsome write Nazzy |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:30:29 PM AEST
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yep, I'm in, another relisher amazed by that moment they cannot describe. Another clapping to such a fine portrayal of all we feel but couldn't say. A riveting building throughout this read - and damn it, if it makes someone open a thesaurus to get another word for interesting well then...) A powerful pull to immediately re-read (and that's a good poem, and by good, I mean great you know).
I clearly see you there, not details, but a figure, strong and sure. I clearly see the sky, in MY mind's eye, the dark rain clouds that have whipped above me in my life. They are moving fast (your images, my memories) and now upon second (or is it fourth) read I have to mention:
"Disfiguring the horizon
With a storm cloud guise on"
Bravo. (please let this say more than it does)
And at the end (allow me to blabber in parenthesis) at first the comparison, ey the switch to "Heart-spoken whispered words" was rough, but then there it was, yes as gripping as the thunder felt before it is heard. How very intriguing a comparison. It is in much need of further study. Thank you. Oh, and excellent, truly excellent. LOL.
:)
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:54:42 AM AEST
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Excellently done.
Through out the poem, one is lost in the vivid images you have created...of storms and thunder and deep, dark skies. And then, when you reach the last line, it's almost like there's suddenly silence, with only the sound of a heartbeat. And yet, that fragile sound holds all the power and magnitude of the storm before.
Awesome! |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 06:07:59 PM AEST
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I feel a hushed awe after reading this.
What an incredible description!
You did it! You captured "that" moment. and I am so very impressed!!!!!!!!!!!
Speechless....but feeling that moment. |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmato on
Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 10:37:42 AM AEST
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| Thank you for this one, been knocked down by lightning before (didn't get hit thank god) and the noise was truly vast. gr8 poem |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 12:41:28 PM AEST
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hmm... I'm gonna be honest with you. The poem felt like it was made up of just imagery. to me, it lacked emotion. There was more written about the things happening around you then to you and how it effected you.
maybe i'm just nit-picking. but its how i felt the poem spoke.
4/5
-Rebekah |
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Re: Feeling Thunder
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 01:59:52 PM AEST
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geeeeeeeeeeeeeee I bet this would be really good if ya came and read it to me Naz .. this is wonderful. It's like this poem by Yeats .. He Wishes For The Cloths of Heaven? it's wonderful but if Anthony Hopkins would come read it to me it would be soooooo much nicer. this poem was a masterpiece....... (applause)
mary |
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