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Free My Thoughts
Contributed by
sride686
on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 10:35:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Have you ever felt a pain like mine
That rips out your heart
And makes you loss your mind
I sit and listen to the wind blow by
Wishing I could just free my mind
Free my thoughts to soar like a bird
With the wings of love in every word
I write of pain without a love
Because I just want my heart to learn to love
I raise my arms and wish I could fly
So I could get away from this life
I place my head between my hands
And sift through my life like sand
My thoughts and dreams fall to the ground
With each grain that falls my life is found
Now I write with lust and I write with pride
For this is my life that I’ll never hide
The sun comes out and brightens my day
And frees my heart of some of my pain
As a smile grows across my face
I start to think my life’s not a waste
I see my future and my past
And start to see theirs still a chance
So like a flood my hates washed away
But the waters of pain they still remain
But with time these waters will dry
And these sands will remain
To sift through my life and release my pain
Copyright ©
sride686
... [
2005-05-26 10:35:43] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by mylady on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 11:17:22 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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nice poem, I sit and listen to the wind blow .
and dream away..take care |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by Skinney86 on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 11:25:44 AM AEST (User
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Very descriptive, and a very nice poem indeed, keep it up! |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by vampyrekiss on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 11:32:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really liked that you had lots of emotion it was great keep it up
Love
Vampyre |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jaycee on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 11:33:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Being trapped is never a good feeling. Sometimes all we can do is persist in doing our best, in doing what is right, while giving time for our mind to soar in azure skies. You can't change the world, even if you are on the enemy's doorstep, but you can do what you believe and conduct yourself with purpose that will be a shining exmple to others. Which I suspect you are already doing. Be well. |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 12:06:35 PM AEST (User
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I liked this one! thoughtful rhyme and good expression of thought and feelings. " So like a flood, my hate's washed away" i like that line very much. Keep up the fine writing and i'll look forward to more as always. dw |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 12:41:05 PM AEST (User
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This IS different for you, but it has a nice flow of emotion, that you share with the reader. I like the metaphor of sifting sand. But most of all I like the way the poem conveys angst with all you're dealing with. Very nice job here! Keep up the good work! Angel always...joni |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 12:50:46 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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awww so sweet and yet very sad.
you have a way with your words.
take care
hugs |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 26th May 2005 @ 10:27:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Great write steve lots of feeling being revealed . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by mina-1 on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 07:33:16 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Steve my friend sadly I can so much relate to ur poem. You've captured it so well with so much depth and emotion. I feel ur sadness and pain right throughout this poem Steve. May God bless ur sweet loving heart and heal ur hearts wounds. you deserve so much better than this my friend. You are a very loving and compassionate person and may u one day find a love who will give u all the love and respect that u deserve. It saddens my heart to see u sad my friend. I'm always here for u.
Take care may God sprinkle the essence of love and companionship towards ur way.
love always and forever ya friend,
~sue~ |
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by blue_angel on
Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 10:17:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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of course i feel pain like yours... every single day of my life. it's so hard to get rid of, especially wen u've felt it for so long. a new style fer u? well its werking cuz u did a great job with this poem.
"My thoughts and dreams fall to the ground
With each grain that falls my life is found"
^i rilly like those two lines...
this is an amazing piece. great job.
luv n hugs,
jennie*
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Re: Free My Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 ) by Dorkfish on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 02:23:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Again an excellent piece! You are truly gifted! |
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