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My heart is hers always
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 09:28:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
my life is all berries
plucked of their tree
nothing heart carries
can carry what's me
my dreams are all leaves
dead from the cold
morning light grieves
what whispers were told
my heart is a grave
empty of earth
i'm buried a slave
not long after birth
my love is all ashes
a handful of thoughts
the memories like stashes
connecting like dots
she speaks to my heart
i listen with feelings
that try not to part
but my tears are revealing....
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-05-25 09:28:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My heart is hers always
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 10:49:30 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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"my dreams are all leaves
dead from the cold
morning light grieves
what whispers were told"
Thos few lines made the poem for me, probably because I can relate to the thought behind them. I love how you describe it though.
I don't think the rest of the poem is as strong, but it's still good.
Good write,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: My heart is hers always
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 11:40:23 AM AEST
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| I think you had some really good wordplay happening here...and I think your intro says it all. Scorp. |
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Re: My heart is hers always
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy on
Wednesday, 1st June 2005 @ 03:22:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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So emotional great write!
Puppy :) |
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