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Windowpane
Contributed by
wizard
on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 08:42:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
This windowpane restricts my view,
Never seeing what I choose,
Laughing slightly at what I see,
I wonder if it laughs back at me,
The things I see change constantly,
Time goes by...tauntingly,
These days have passed - completely changed,
But this world of ours...no less deranged!
This window sill, my only shrine,
Here I sit...watching time,
Passing by, never halts,
This windowpane, my secret vault.
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2005-05-24 20:42:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 09:39:07 PM AEST
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Hmmm, life in a vault. Sounds rather constricting to me. You just haven't found what you are looking for? You won't just sitting behind the windowpane and just viewing. You have to get out and become part of life. Do I have the right take on this? Not sure if I do or not. Good luck, either way.
Smiles,
Rita |
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 10:33:03 PM AEST
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and ya hang ya head
when I tell you ya got the gift..
(like all true geniuses)
awesome Bro..
Billy
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 10:07:07 AM AEST
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Not bad........but I do agree with moringdove, to an extent. Maybe you are hiding, and trying to see. Maybe dont see, but look, and it will be right there.
Good write.
Brew~ |
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 02:32:00 PM AEST
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i believe the more windows the better, with my favorite few open for viewing this world, your poem gives me such a feeling of peace and is filled with presence, and beauty, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 07:08:55 PM AEST
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| This poem is amazing. I like the idea of a changing world seen through a constant object. Your rhythm is great, as usual, and the metaphors of shrines and vaults are great. Keep on writing those amazing poems ! |
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Re: Windowpane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th March 2006 @ 01:55:39 PM AEST
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well. I have read this numerous times, but felt it necessary to
savour it before commenting. There is much in here. If I am to
believe you chose these words on purpose, [and why would
you not?], hiding is not what I get from it.
It seems much more of a pensive and reproachful kind of
view of time's passage as seen through your window. But in the
safeness of your "secret vault" can you still remain guarded.
The brevity of this adds to it's punch. No need for verbosity.
Too much more would make this pleonastic.
Perfect.
~Breezy |
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