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The Dream Is Over
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:34:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Saturating pain, uneased by the tears wept
A blanket of darkness, and memories unkept
Sight of a dead flame, and ashes that lay forgotten
All of being heartless, living a life already rotten
Seated in blood, as nothing seems to change
More cracks in the mirror, but the visual stays the same
Dreams less then a puddle of mud, with no reason to reach for the sky
The haze would be so much clearer, if the shadow of death were to shine tonight
Succumbed by misery, tied to a self destruction
Withered to naught, from my very lifes reduction
Silhouette of history, ending my civil war
For the dream sought, is captured and I finally hurt no more
. . .
It's over, I'm dead evermore
Thanks for all the applauds
And every encore
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-05-23 20:34:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 08:54:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| =], such brilliance, such brilliance. i think that this would be your new best now, and maybe even my favorite =] excellent rhymes, excellent rhymes, of course. since you used them the way you did in the lines and verses. not many poets can say they did the same and conquered it like you have. splendid ending, it just changes the entire tone of the poem, and gives it a new spin and a twist. keep on penning stuff that i want to steal =] |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by kydistortion69 on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 09:24:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a powerful poem..full of so much sorrow and despair but also so emotionally beautiful and intense...don't know whether to beg for you to hold on with the usual reverb "all will get better" or join the masses with soulful applauds..yes very good poem.. |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 10:24:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The beginning of this drew me in amazingly. You did a masterful job with
description and I felt that I was in that position you described. The ending
wasn't quite as good as the beginning, but I still enjoyed the poem.
Awesome job, some of the ideas in it were expressed very freshly if
that can be said about such dark thoughts.
Kudos,
~Kara |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 11:02:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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amazing
very very well written..
the ending has left me without words..
beautiful saddness.
M.O.H. |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 01:11:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is very nice, clark. i like it alot! |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 09:22:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is an excellent write---Bravo! I truly enjoyed this, and it seems like you put alot of effort into this poem....
Scorp. |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 12:04:33 AM AEST
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The intensity of the sadness is brilliantly penned. The power in this poem strikes out right in your face. I am awed. Great write
Rita |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 03:29:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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o amazing, dis is for sure one of your best
i love it VERY much clark!!! ur a legend
this is an ASTOUNDING piece whoo hoo i love the wording
5 big stars from me!!!!
luv u |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 03:31:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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brilliant. this is good,...no beyond good this is a masterpiece, encore......
SM |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 04:26:43 AM AEST
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A very powerful poem that has so much sadness and emotions to it.
Very nicely done Clark i like this a lot. Good to read one of your poems again.
Jane xx |
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Re: The Dream Is Over
(User Rating: 1 )
by boobiepeach on
Monday, 13th June 2005 @ 04:00:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow beautiful
i can relate and thats the best kind of poem to write
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