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STOLEN MOMENTs
Contributed by
spazz911
on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 08:35:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Stolen moments
not meant to be mine
lives of another
and mine have entwind
I dont get these
no moment are mine
I steal them like thieves
taking a cheap dime
Nobody gives them
I steal them, thats wrong
I scavenge a moment
twist them, blend them all gone
You can't have a moment
there needs to be two
a sharing of clock ticks
ticking in glue
holdin thouhts forward
escping a mo
flees like a dagger
life holding foes
So I pick and I dig
and I bury them gone
stealing your moments
untill all else are gone
Lashing out cruely
screaming in vain
stealing that moment
I play harsh game
Copyright ©
spazz911
... [
2005-05-22 20:35:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: STOLEN MOMENTs
(User Rating: 1 )
by kydistortion69 on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 09:26:39 PM AEST
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| has an almost vampiric confessional tone to it..i like it alot |
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Re: STOLEN MOMENTs
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Sunday, 22nd May 2005 @ 09:33:46 PM AEST
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thats kinda weird... a good weird. coolio kc.
jennie* |
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Re: STOLEN MOMENTs
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 02:46:15 AM AEST
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alrighty....this i like a lot.
interesting other comment saw it as vampiric. i saw it as possibly relating to someone involved in an affair? as such, i really like the take on it...it's inspiring me to write along the same vein.
it's a fairly emotional piece but with a harsh reality to it.
"holdin thoughts forward
escaping a mo"
i've always been a bit of a fan of slang in poetry. makes it more real...doesn't seem contrived.
thanks for sharing your work..i really like it :) |
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Re: STOLEN MOMENTs
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 02:46:49 AM AEST
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| ps. i'd be interested to hear what it is actually about... |
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Re: STOLEN MOMENTs
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Monday, 23rd May 2005 @ 12:46:43 PM AEST
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Hi kc
I don't see this as vampiric (maybe it's me) but it's a sign of someone reaching out for someone special anyway they can. Reminds me of years gone by when I would "accidentally" bump into the cheerleader in my class so I could talk to her. I can't say stealing is wrong because I have done it myself.
I loved the read, full of emotion and powerful description, like use of the word scavenge and ticking in glue. Great imagery. |
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