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Death Upon Me
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 10:31:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
just another slit on the wrist
just another tightened fist
only another tear in my eye
but just another reason to cry
just another burn on my arm
just another doing me harm
only another darkness within
but just another sin unforgiven
just another drop of blood
just another self impaired cut
only another piece of me gone
but just another place i dont belong
just another scar on myself
just another preview of hell
only another fate that i can see
but just another death upon me
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-05-19 10:31:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death Upon Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sahara on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 10:54:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Written very well, a tad on the darkside. Appears to be raw uncut emotion.... I applaud you for getting your emotions across, but I would also like to say that if you ever just need an ear, you can always message me.
Sonya |
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Re: Death Upon Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 12:07:20 PM AEST
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For a decade I lived a life that closely resembles this poem and I wanted you to know that I am still alive. The torture itself hardened me and when you are devastated and alone please think of this note and know that I am out here somewhere fighting.
I won't speak of hope and faith because to me they are cheap words. So many times they've been used to try and save me by people who know nothing of my condition.
Death comes to us all regardless , so why not laugh in his face. When you are alone surrounded by an army who take no prisoners you might as well walk up and spit in the general's face and laugh. Great write , yours truly , doug |
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Re: Death Upon Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 02:09:20 PM AEST
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| Another good write my friend but very dark. I enjoy dark writes for its what I write the most and its what I’m living write now. I hope things do look up for you and your in my thoughts. Your work is always one I look forward to reading. Take care….Steve |
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Re: Death Upon Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 07:34:59 PM AEST
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This is a powerfully written poem. The readability is great, the just anothers and only/buts really work with a flow that is so good. Poetry that's like music, like this should be sung with an axe in your (musical axe, that is) hands.
Well, I hope that these feelings only stay within and do not prompt you to action. The redundancy (or at least consistency) probably wants to make you throw a knife at me, but, well, I do not want to see you harmed by anyone and can only hope that healthier and alternative methods for satisfaction present themselves.
Be well my friend. |
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Re: Death Upon Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 07:36:02 PM AEST
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| Incomplete comment: The redundancy or consistency of my comments... |
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