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Insight
Contributed by
Rasputin_the_Second
on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 10:20:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
You Burst with life, as a radiation.
I Sought your Love, as a revolution.
I found the truth, as a meditation.
Within my soul, there’s a deep explosion.
You cut my chains, an emancipation.
I felt your Love, as an inundation.
I was confused, a humiliation.
Within my heart, there’s a raw emotion.
You pierce my being, an electrocution.
I need your love, as a raging passion.
I seek your heart, as I seek completion.
Within my mind, there’s a realization.
Copyright ©
Rasputin_the_Second
... [
2005-05-17 22:20:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Insight
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 11:09:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I liked this a lot, especially:
I felt your Love, as an inundation
one thing I might mention though, just that I feel personally, skip the word "there's" in each of the last lines of each stanza. It threw me off and I think it's strong without it. But please, do as you will, it's yours.
It was very good, nice admission.
:) |
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Re: Insight
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 01:58:12 AM AEST
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Awesomely creative write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Insight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 21st May 2005 @ 11:42:01 PM AEST
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A light piece filled with notions of enlightenment:
"I Sought your Love, as a revolution"
Excellent conclusion, strong and weighty:
..."I seek your heart, as I seek completion.
Within my mind, there’s a realization."
An alternative and rather eccentric love piece. |
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