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Undried Tears
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:22:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Undried Tears
Perfection's lie taints my life,
And you stab it into my mind
Until I give into your knife
Of happiness's belated lies.
The blood I cannot feel
As it runs in my tears.
I cannot know what is real
As all of my fears
Come to life in your eyes.
I can see your sadness
As I drown in my own demise
Without want for happiness.
I still wonder if you were right,
Or if I gave into another lie.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-17 20:22:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:28:21 PM AEST
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as always Jen, you make a great poem better with the ending, Very good, AS ALWAYS..lol...
~Clark |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:29:08 PM AEST
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strong in emotion
I still wonder if you were right,
or if I gave into another lie
powerful its hard to know sometimes isnt it
Michelle |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:35:45 PM AEST
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Sometimes it seems we never know until we go so far down the road that it is simply to late to try to go back and change things.
Excellent poem.
Rita |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nomad062303 on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 08:37:10 PM AEST
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i really like this it touched me. i look forward to reading another.
~Ashley |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 09:10:17 PM AEST
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Nice work, reading this lends sadness to my heart... fears, mistakes, lies,
blood, pain... life is difficult. I think you chose a wonderful title for this work.
"The blood I cannot feel
As it runs in my tears.
I cannot know what is real
As all of my fears"
was probably my favorite part.
Nice work.
~Kara |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 09:21:26 PM AEST
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I still wonder if you were right,
Or if I gave into another lie.
The entire poem was incredible, but these lines...wow. A real hit to the soul here.
Very well done my friend
Larry
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheVoice on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 09:31:29 PM AEST
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Very good piece. Makes me think.
The Voice
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 09:43:16 PM AEST
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Hello Dear
this is really a great write i just hope to read someting happy from you one day sorry i been away
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 02:37:56 AM AEST
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A bit sad but greatly written.
Hang tuff, my friend.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 02:51:35 AM AEST
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Come to life in your eyes.
I can see your sadness
As I drown in my own demise
Without want for happiness.
Now that's a kick arse poem. I love the sadness that comes out of your words.
Your a brilliant poet Jessen LOL. Keep up the bloody good work.
Hugs,
Jane xxx |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 06:02:38 AM AEST
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Essentially9
I am so envious !
Wishing I had your talent.
Nicely done.
Sinned |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 06:18:32 AM AEST
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A brillantly expressed piece of poetry Jen. You have an amazing talent in writing and ur skill to word and capture ur subject is simply sensational. This one has u thinking at the end. Well done Jen.
*hugs*
~sue~
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 01:48:36 PM AEST
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ahhh deception...often a two edged knife!
Someone liying to us, or us liying to ourselves.....
well done ...very thought provoking! |
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Re: Undried Tears
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Wednesday, 15th June 2005 @ 08:19:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great poem! Short but filled with SO much meaning and emotion! Excellent write.
--amanda-- |
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