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Warm Red Wine
Contributed by
ramfire
on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 04:49:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
This cool night warm red wine is in my cup and I count the days
back when you were here talking with me and then gave a kiss sweet
down to my full lips wanting you so much and I love your ways
that fill my heart with bursting joy making this life all complete.
The reflection of my sad tear stained and drawn face in cup’s heat
tells of bitter loss I have endured for too many long weeks
though in my poor distress have sought ever to smile and to greet
the friends I then do see on town streets or where my walk now seeks.
This cool night warm red wine is in my cup and place of rent reeks
of the stale butts in my glass dish placed on end table near chair
on a frayed rug of old spent design that can' t aid floor which creaks
and from ceiling hangs single cord holding a light bulb of glare.
Come back my love to me and kiss me once again as before
give a whisper in my ear and say it’s Jill I still adore.
Copyright ©
ramfire
... [
2005-05-17 16:49:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Warm Red Wine
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 06:02:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Brilliant work. Your feeling flow so smoothly albeit sad. I truly enjoyed this read.
Dove |
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Re: Warm Red Wine
(User Rating: 1 )
by travisk on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 01:17:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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liked the flow of long, drawn out lines that pushed away the staleness that can come from shorter rhymes.
realy liked the train-of-thought imagery in the 3rd stanza
nice job |
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