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Pain
Contributed by
sride686
on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 11:31:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Pain and more Pain
it tortures my soul
It rips out my heart
and leaves me this hole
That continues to eat
and kill my soul
It continues to grow
and destroy my life
But still leaves me
whole without my pride
This hole that eats and breaths
Hate and anger is all it feeds
If you look in my eyes
you’ll feel my pain
It will cut to your heart
and drive you insane
For I feel the devil
he breeds in my soul
Ready to unleash
this rage of cold
My eyes turn red
and I loss control
With this knife in my hand
the futures untold
But I fight my mind
to regain control
How can this be
why is life so cold
When did I turn
and loss my soul
I look out the window
with tears in my eyes
Soon it will be night
and this rage will not hide
Copyright ©
sride686
... [
2005-05-17 11:31:12] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by bethers_is_my_baby on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 11:41:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very powerfull!!! lots of emotions!!! great job!!! |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by suicidal_imbecile on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 11:48:26 AM AEST (User
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Steve, your always writing awsome poems, i love your work. I love this poem for the way it flows. its like it slowly but surely changes and morphs its way into your thought pattern
kate |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 12:07:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very different from what i've read of you so far. It's good to see variety and this was no exception; the emotions were very strong and full of imagery.
This line is sweet...
"How can this be
why is life so cold
when did i turn
and lose my soul"
very nice. thanks for sharing it. |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 03:03:02 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Steve, this was really powerfuly writen. Theres so much more to poetry and you have captured it with this piece.
Hugs,
Jane xxx |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by mina-1 on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 04:09:21 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Steve this is an outstanding and remarkable write detailing ones struggle within himself. I sense there is more behind the lines. Anger, pain and resentment hey, but I could be wrong. Written with depth and power. Another absolutely terrific write. take care my dear friend.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 05:25:06 PM AEST (User
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Beautiful poem of tragic turmoil not so beautiful in reality stay with it time will heal . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by Quilted_rag_doll on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 06:29:50 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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If you look in my eyes
you’ll feel my pain
It will cut to your heart
and drive you insane
nicely written...
Auryn |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 ) by blue_angel on
Tuesday, 24th May 2005 @ 10:30:19 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow gawsh that is amazing... u have quite the talent there steve... inspiring, a bit on the sad side, but powerful and emotional. i rilly like this. and i can totally relate... awesome job, keep it up!
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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