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The Bad Place
Contributed by
Fears
on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 08:32:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The bad place is a land of death.
the bad place is an ocean of bodies, decomposing in the night.
the bad place is a closet full of boggie men.
the bad place is laughter far, far away.
The bad place is war in my front yard.
The bad place is the stench of rotten eggs in moulding socks.
the bad place is the feeling of sadness.
the bad place is...right around the corner.
Copyright ©
Fears
... [
2005-05-16 20:32:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Bad Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unbreakable on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 08:39:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I actually don't really understand your poem...I don't see what your trying to get at. The consistency with "the bad place" is nice..and I can see that you had a good idea I just don't see where it's going. Not bad overall though..
Krystal |
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Re: The Bad Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 03:36:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is an interesting poem, though I feel it's too short. It seems like only the first stanza in a great poem. You should elaborate on this, it's really good. 'the bad place is laughter far, far away' This line really gives the feeling of entrapment and soon to be shattered hope, via 'the bad place is...right around the corner.' Don't keep your readers wanting like this! Add more to this great write! |
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