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insomnia

Contributed by iodinelove on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 02:48:26 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



I can't find the right words.
I have a need for this
An empty pit
deep down in my stomach
worming its way into my heart
my fingers tremble
trying to find the word for it all
for all of this *****
this life this world
this feeling
that i feel
that i don't feel
and no matter what words i write
it doesn't ever go away
so i sit all hunched over
my fingers shaking and typing
and crushing themselves
under the pressure
and i have a headache
and the music won't go away
and the music drowns everything else out
and i write and i write and i write
and the words are never the same
the moment isn't clear enough
the pacing is all wrong
the sickness is sweating out
the swelling stays
and I push the keyboard closed
and I go to my room
and i turn the tv on and i turn the tv off
and i pull the keyboard
out and i turn the music up
and i lift my tears
all the way up to the top
of everything
and they fall down
and they always fall down
because i have this big empty space
that i can no longer fill
and I've tried everything
I've tried smoking it away
drowning it stabbing it down
deeper praying it away
screaming and cussing and crying
over a dead end job a dead end
world
the only world i know
and the hallways start to split
and the walls come crumbling down
and the water turns black and sticky
in my mouth
the wine tastes better
when I'm sad
and i can't even have that.

So i am unsure
so i am typing simply
typing every second counts
typing the tired dog over
the falling sky
and it doesn't make sense
nothing does anymore
I want to move on
I want to find new life
but it's always the same
that empty feeling
always comes back
and the tears always fall the same
way
and they never change anything
no
they never change anything
so i don't cry anymore
so i don't let myself love
anything anymore
it's all just a mistake
it's all just a jumbled mess
falling to the floor
the open door
the light streaming through
and I wish I could get some sleep
I really need to sleep.




Copyright © iodinelove ... [ 2005-05-16 02:48:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: insomnia (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 03:13:32 AM AEST
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I know exactly what cha mean.
I've delt with insomnia all my life.
I fill those hours doing what i'm doing right now.
It was insomnia that drew me to writing and now I take advavantage to the insomnia.
My writing fills most of the voids in my life so insomnia has been a blessing to me and my best friend in a way.
huggs,
emy
Very good writing.


Re: insomnia (User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 03:29:49 AM AEST
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im sorry you suffer from this, but i find that the best writeing comes from those who cant find sleep :D so its a double edged sword.

SM


Re: insomnia (User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 07:39:51 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
oh this was a powerful poem!
well done, i feel this way almost every night
insomnia can be terrible....i hardly sleep at all
you've captured ur feelings of desperation well, great word use


Re: insomnia (User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 01:34:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i feel exactly where you're comming from as i've felt it myself many-a-time.
try to hold up and you can talk to me any time you need to. ok?




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