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You and Me
Contributed by
hollyc-state
on
Saturday, 14th May 2005 @ 03:14:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
The first time I saw you I did not really see you.
In an innocent way it was.
As I sat next to you, I was the shy me.
You asked my name and I asked yours.
Then I soon moved my place.
In an innocent way it was.
From a distance I looked upon you.
Just watching and glancing.
In an innocent way it was.
I lost sight of you amidst the crowd.
And I found myself frantically searching for you.
In an innocent way it was.
My eyes did not view you again that day.
I did not know what I had seen and felt.
In an innocent way it was.
It was all over now.
Time to go back home.
Alone and scared I seemed to be.
In an innocent way it was.
But once again I found you in my world.
As I gathered my belongings,
I saw that you had left something for me.
In an innocent way it was.
A note, a letter, a few words of caring,
Or maybe a sign of interest.
In an innocent way it was.
Looking back now,
I noticed you and at the same time you noticed me.
Both being quiet and reserved.
In an innocent way it was.
Now we more than see each other,
We know each other,
having a certain understanding of friendship between us.
Giving hugs and loves.
No longer in an innocent way.
I love you. ; )
Copyright ©
hollyc-state
... [
2005-05-14 15:14:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You and Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th May 2005 @ 04:03:13 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is a beautiful piece. I don't want to sound too critical because I love the content of it. But the repitition of last line got to be a bit much for me, though I love the idea behind it. Perhaps by combining some of the stanzas it would lesson the effect.
But again overall this is wonderful! |
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Re: You and Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th May 2005 @ 09:03:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I still remember the first time i met the person i love. It was totally innocent at first and just like your poem it wasn't innocent anymore. I look back everyday remembering how we became friends and then became more Hope that it stays that way for you. Good write. |
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Re: You and Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovestruck on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 06:28:47 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| hey i really liked this one! personally i like the last line repeating i thought it was cool! |
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